Eric is still on Easter vacation and "Dad, you said you would take me to3 Ninjas..." Ok, son, lets go to the 1:15 show, have Mom drop you offat AMC and I'll meet you there."Taking one's son to the show is a parental responsibility and I thoughtI could pull this off and be back at the office by 3:30pm. We got backto the office in a timely fashion, but the show was painful. The goodnews is that I went to sleep. Good news for Eric is that he gave it a"100".

The plot was simple: three kids beat and ninja kick many bad guys andkeep them from getting the money and blowing up the amusement park -Mega Mountain. You will not believe who the leader of the bad guyswas: Loni Anderson. She was looking a little long in the tooth. Also"starring" as a good guy was Hulk Hogan hisownself. Thirty years ofsteroids has taken a toll on the Hulkster. Oh well, its a gig. Rock 'nRoll.

Grade 65 S Larry H.

August 28, 1998. Loew's Theatres. "54" stars Mike Myers and Neve Campbell. That's it for the good news. The backdrop for this movie is Studio 54 in the late 70's. I apologize for my attendance at this movie, but it started at 12:30 pm and that time was convenient for me. I read a synopsis of this flick - "A fictional story about a 19 year old kid from Jersey who becomes a star bartender." Yikes, can you stand the suspense? This could have been named "Disco Duck" or "Disco Doofus" or better yet "Dork Does Disco." It is a cross between "Boogie Nights" and "Dance Fever" and that's being very kind. I am reminded of the Mike Myers line when he played Wayne Campbell in "Wayne's World" when contemplating if I will ever see this movie again - "Yeah, right, when monkeys fly out of my butt." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 65W Larry H.

Monday night June 8, 1998, at Loew's Theatre #18. The boy is in Viennaon tour with The Fort Bend Boys Choir so the wife and I do Mexican foodand a movie. I let her sit by me at the movie and it was sort of amistake. We talked off and on the entire movie. Quietly of course.The movie breeds discussion about the clues of who is after whom anddouble and triple crosses. The wife is pretty good at these mysterieswhich frustrates me when she gets stuff figured out before me. She iscurrently out of town so please do not mention this to her.

The cast is Michael Douglas as the rich New York older guy who ismarried to a trophy wife young rich girl Gwyneth Paltrow who is in lovewith ex con artist cleft chin Viggo Mortensen who is a low runner andwill kill you or Gwyneth for $500K. The film is an updated version of"Dial M for Murder" which is one of Hitchcock's best. The "latch key"left outside the door for the would-be murderer is pivotal in thisversion as well.

The main sleuth in the story is none other than actor David Suchet whowill be immediately recognized by you Agatha Christie freaks as a formerHercule Poirot without a mustache and a full head of hair. The scriptis clever and the acting is adequate. So if you like this sort of movieyou will be cool; otherwise, wait for video or better yet go rent "DialM for Murder" and the treat is guranteed. What's up with all the olderHollywood men getting the real young women? Is this going on in SugarLand, Texas, and I just don't realize it? Tell me. I'll be 48 July16th. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 86. Larry H.

On the way to see "American History X" I stopped off to watch about an hour of "Elizabeth." Set in 1554, the Elizabeth is Queen Elizabeth I who took the British throne after her half-sister Mary I died. The complicated and not yet mature Queen E was superbly portrayed by Cate Blanchett who will have a shot at least a nomination for her performance. Other nomination possibilities are "costume" and "cinematography." It was a pretty film. I did not see the beginning or the end of this movie so I will give it only half of its probable full grade: 44. I quietly slipped out of theatre #3 and made my way to theatre #8 where the seating capacity at Loew's on this beautiful November 28th was a mere 100.

"American History X" is one of those rare films that tackles tough social issues like race and hatred, but does not sacrifice the portrayal of the deep competing emotions of the human struggle endured by all races. Edward Norton as Derek stars as the murdering Nazi skinhead that goes to prison for savagely killing two black men. Derek committed the killings and "...did not feel any different after doing it." So what's the point? That is the point!

Much of the character and story developed through flashbacks that were in black and white which was a nice touch primarily because the past history of Derek and his family was stark, scary, and sad. This is an extraordinary film. The feelings of rage, love, vengeance, cruelty, hatred, loyalty, betrayal, conviction, confusion, and fear serve this story well. The movie is about the terrible things that involve being a skinhead, but this story is another example that a movie can rip your heart out, make you angry, and cause a caring tear IF the movie has that magic quality that Hollywood producers and directors search for and so rarely find - it works! Why don't THEY ever make a movie anymore that really says something and causes me to think and get involved in the story and not just another Bruce Willis shoot 'em up mall movie. Well, THEY did and this is it.

Edward Norton delivers his part with the energy and passion of an "On the Water Front" Brando or a "Bad Boys" Sean Penn. A nomination for Norton is almost a certainty which means he might get one. Derek's younger and impressionable brother Danny (Edward Furlong) was also outstanding and has an outside shot at Best Supporting Actor. The cast is loaded: Beverly D'Angelo, Avery Brooks, and Elliott Gould. The screenplay by David McKenna is on my short list. What a fun time at the flicks - I love America! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 94. Larry H.

Its been raining all day (Oct 6) so there is no soccer practice today. "Hey, Eric, you wanna go see "AntZ"....Have Mom bring you to AMC 24 ....meet you out front at 5:00 pm...Ok, Dad, I'm down for that!" This animation movie has been very appealing to him and he's been bugging me about taking him.

"AntZ" is an attempt by DreamWorks to show-off its advanced skills in animation and ability to get an all-star voice cast while showcasing life in a colony of ants that displays human humor without losing the charm of ants. Nice try. Did not work.

The "Z" in "AntZ" is a puny-bodied ant that is a reluctant hero and neurotic personality with the voice of Woody Allen. Now, there's a stretch. One of the other lead characters was a beefed-up ant worker/soldier that had an "Aaaadrian accent" with the voice of - you guessed it - Sylvester Stallone. The princess was Sharon Stone and the Queen was Jane Curtin's voice. The plot involved love between Z and the Princess and a coup attempt by a General with the voice of Gene Hackman who sounded like a whiny "Little Bill" (C. Eastwood's "Unforgiven"). The highlight of the movie was a confrontation between Eric and me involving Gummi Bears - those "yellows" are terrible. A small fight broke out between us and there was some spitting and throwing, but I was able to restore order. It was ugly, but fun. We considered buying some Raid on the way home to give the ants some pay back for what they had done to us.

I did not actually "walk" this movie because Eric wanted to hang in there until the very end just to see how it finished. Good news: 77 minutes. However, I did go out of theatre #20 and sit on a bench for 10-15 minutes to take the edge off my boredom. I told Eric that he had some work to do if he wants to grow up and be like his "Old Man" and he needed to learn the finer points of the "The Art of the Walk." Guidelines to live by:
- If its spit you must quit
- If it sucks save your bucks
- If its no fun start to run
- If it takes a toll then Rock 'n Roll

Grade 65 W*. Larry H. * partial walk

Big opening day for "Armageddon". July 1, 1998. It will be ablockbuster. Mucho money for Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and hisfriends. Big winners are Steve "God has blessed me again and I didn'tdeserve 'Fargo' either Buscemi, Ben "how lucky can a young guy get whatwith an Oscar and all" Affleck, and Liv " its pretty neat to be the onlyfemale interest in a summer mega hit" Tyler. The cast is wonderful, butthese three will profit greatly from their performances

This movie was not made more skillfully than "Deep Impact" but its got astory that's bigger and better. This film gets the audience to buy intothe plot that an asteroid the size of Texas is coming to destroy theworld in eighteen days and we better do something quick or we're toast.Let's send up the space shuttle with some oil drilling experts andexplode a nuclear bomb deep enough in the little booger to cause it tosafely pass by earth. Let's get Harry and his band of misfits andborderline felons who are funny, interesting, scary, and behave like the"Dirty Dozen" while taking a crash course in space flight to help uswith this dangerous plan and the world will be saved. Harry is ablyplayed by Bruce "where's my Demi?" Willis. Other "crew" members thatare part of this drilling team are Will Patton and some other guys thatlike tattoos and fast women. The Willis boys are teamed up with realastronauts and blast off into space in two shuttles. Lots of stuffhappens and the special effects are good and predictable. Tragedy andsuspense is part of the mix and the story never allows the audience muchbreathing room while we contemplate the end of civilization; "...nothing will survive not even bacteria..." if the mission fails. Thelead NASA guy is Billy Bob "Sling Blade" Thornton who turns out to be anactor as well as an Academy Award winning writer. Thornton has had astring of hits - "The Apostle" and "Primary Colors".

Eric and I attended the 4:05 pm showing and there were 100-110 folks andthey laughed and gasped when they were suppose to. Held their breathwith suspense and did not leave immediately after the end, but stayedand viewed the closing credits and sat quietly as people do when theyhave just finished an emotional and enjoyable experience. There was along line outside Theatre #11(the big one at AMC) waiting to get in.We're talking big hit, folks. Lots of teenage girls, too. Can anybodysay "Titanic?" OK, "Armageddon" will not win Academy Awards but it willmake a ton of money with its universal appeal. 150 minutes PG 13.Rock 'n Roll

Grade 90. Larry H.

This movie will garner 6-9 nominations including Best Picture, Best Director (Jonathan Demme), Best Screenplay Adaptation, and for acting: Oprah Winfrey (Sethe), Danny Glover (Paul D) Thandie Newton (Beloved), and Kimberly Elise (Denver).

The story is a combination of "Roots," "Shindler's List," "Poltergeist," and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" And you ask, "But, Larry H, how can that be?" Gotta see this one to believe it. I was at the noon showing at Loew's and the crowd was near 100. Screenplay is based on the novel by Toni Morrison and it must have been a doozy.

Winfrey plays Sethe who "walked" away from her slave beginnings in Kentucky. She made this walk over a 28 day period and was eight months pregnant and had no shoes. The pain and anguish that Sethe suffered were of Biblical proportions. When she made it to Ohio, her life was still under a cloud and death and sadness were near overwhelming. Sethe's human spirit and the will to survive and her "thick love" for her children is the fabric of this film. Sethe found some comfort in Paul D who was also from "Sweet Home" which was their name for the slave existence that they had survived. Sethe explained to Paul D that "...this ain't the good life, but it ain't the other." Sethe has an eighteen year old daughter that was born at the end of her "walk" and there is a mystery about her other children especially the one name "Beloved" that shows up to live with her. Is Beloved real or is she just a spirit? Is her presence to comfort Sethe or condemn her? Or torture her?

Glover and Winfrey have several passionate scenes where each tenderly caresses the numerous scars from the whip on the other's back. And those scenes are emotional lightweights compared to the overall movie of 172 minutes. This is heavy stuff with many flashbacks and subtle, yet powerful dialogue. Most of the movie takes place in Ohio after Sethe has left her "Sweet Home" and proudly resettled in her Ohio home that she described to Paul D as "... not evil, just sad."

Sometime the movie-going experience is not fun but is important to better understand humans, love, suffering, hatred, perseverance, betrayal, and deep foreboding grief. I am glad I saw this film, but it will be a while before I do it again. If ever. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 91. Larry H.

Its about 1:05 pm August 28, 1998. I "walked" out on "54" about 54 seconds ago and am trying to salvage my Friday afternoon of movie-watching which is my part-time job. I've got another job, but man can not live by the law alone. So I slide into my seat just as "Blade" starring Wesley Snipes is starting and I'm impressed that my skills at changing movie theatres is at its peak. The opening scene of "Blade" involves some dude going into a warehouse that turns out to be a dance club of young hip people that seem a little strange, but these crowded dance floors can cause people to seem strange when they are really quite normal. Loud music and camera panning. Then the sprinkler system starts spraying everyone with blood. Lots of blood. Everyone is covered in blood. Snipes mystically shows up and starts shooting the dancers who have now turned into angry vampires. Being the quick wit that I am and borderline professional moviegoer, I say "I am outta here." Darn. Two "walks" in 30 minutes. Rock 'n Roll

65 W. Larry H

Friday February 6, 1998, 1:45 pm at AMC 24. Theatre #12. Had a datewith Mabel Colley Chapman Harrison. Mother of Larry H. She is a hoot, funny and cute. Just two buds out on the town. She's got a bad knee and ticker, but she's got a great spirit, so we thought we would go to the show and have some fun. The woman makes me laugh.You know the rules: Can't sit by Larry H.- but I did let her sit just one seat over.

"Blues Brothers 2000" starring Dan Ayckroyd and John Goodman (MightyMack) suffers from "sequel sickness" and should have waited till theyear 2000 so Dan and director John Landis could work out the kinks and deliver the goods. The show was dedicated to John Belushi, CabCallaway, and John Candy. Amen. The show opens with Dan/Elwood Blues getting out of prison 18 years after we last saw him. Elwood gathers up the band and buys a used cop car as his main mode of travel. Gotta be a really fast car so he and his band of bandmorons can outrun the Illinois State Police, FBI, Russian Mafia, and the Local Weekend Militia. Oh, duh. Let's do the scene where a bunch of cars (40) pile up in a giant wreck because Elwood has outsmarted them again.

Mother Superior, kidnapping a minor, and police car chases ad nauseumare but a few highlights. Aretha sings R E S P E C T. Ok, that wascool. I give the movie extra points for giving every Blues singing in America a gig: Wicked Wilson Pickett, B B King, James Brown (out on furlough) Eric Clapton, Lou Rawls, to name a few. I would have "walked" out on the movie, but Mabel seemed to be rockin and rollin, so I hung in there. Later, she said that she liked hearing Aretha sing even though she could not hear it very well and her hands went to sleep, but she liked the movie and " I don't normally like that kind of music..." What a trooper! Mabel's cool.

The God Bomb Theory kicked in for me about half way through the movieand I suffered greatly without John Belushi until the end with a brief respite during the last ten minute extravaganza. Paul Shaffer was credited with the music which was the best part of the movie. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 72. Larry H.

Bulworth is Beatty. Warren co-wrote, produced, directed and starred inthis film about a rather uneventful US Senator that goes haywire andhip-hop in a span of hours. Those hours were in the Spring of '96 whenDole and Clinton were slugging it out with each other and Sen JayBulworth quits eating and contemplates suicide the weekend before theCalifornia primary. The good democratic senator from California hatchesa secret plan that yields a bizarre, twisted assination/suicide schemeto solve his demons. The plan is on again off again ...or is it?Bulworth goes bonkers. And says and does whatever comes to mind or hasbeen suppressed while offending Jews, Blacks, Whites, the rich, and anyone else that no longer is needed by a man that knows the end is near.There are some very funny scenes and the writing in the first half ofthe movie is hilarious. Unfortunately, about the time I was ready forBulworth to progress into another layer of his psyche and shock usagain, his spontaneity became predictable. Comedy is hard to sustain.

Supporting characters played by Halle Berry, Paul Sorvino, and OliverPlatt were wonderful and did not slow down the movie. The writingultimately ran out of gas.The movie is rated R primarily because of "explicit language". Nuditynone.Beatty has created a memorable character and mocked the system in thisfarcical talethat will remind the viewer of the immense charade that goes on aroundus and we routinely choose to ignore it because we have our ownproblems. Bulworth is full of bull, but he utters one of the all timelines: "...never make life and death decisions when you are thinkingsuicidal..." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 85. Larry H.

April 17, 1998 Theatre #16 Loews. I like Loews: got nice bathrooms,tickets sales are inside, theatres are intimate, house lights arebrighter than AMC before the feature which aids in finding a seat,Sesame Street characters yelling "...Movie Movie Movie Movie MovieMovie..." gets me all jazzed up and then the Brass section blasts out as we swoop down on the red carpet to "enter" the picture show theatre with the beautiful people and I am amped up for the movie and rocking in my chair. Of course the theatre manager holds my parking spot open for me until about 2:00pm on Fridays.

Nicolas Cage plays Seth the Angel with the sensitivity of Jimmy Stewartand the heart of a Humphrey Bogart warrior. Cage carries this story asthe lead by not overdoing his already lofty character. We learn thatGuardian Angels like to hang out on the beach at sunrise and sunset,libraries and pistol ranges. Ok, so I'm lying about the pistol range,but the other two are accurate. Larry H. is using the term "Guardian"but the characters do not. There are lots of angels and they save folks as well as come to take them "home." This show is about love, death, and humanity with all of its joy and pain. This is a "Chick Flick" that also works for the people from Mars. The emotion and make-believe believability of a "Field of Dreams" and forbidden love of ....well you get the point. Miss Cute Meg Ryan ("Maggie) is the charmingly flawed heart surgeon that temps Seth to turn in his angel credentials so he can "....smell her hair ..... feel her touch.... or have a kiss ... just once." I'm talking the kind of love you people from Venus only dream about because the people from Mars just can't hack it - but Seth and Maggie ....????

"Things are true whether you believe them or not" is a typical linewritten by Dana Stevens who wrote the screenplay and she gets away withit because this story is about HeavenlyBeings and Love of Biblical proportions. The camera angles and close-ups of faces and eyes is remarkable. The camera shots from above andwhile "falling" will take your breath away. The biggest revelationduring the movie is that all of the angels wear real long overcoats.Gotta get one of those. Kinda like a dress duster. Way cool.Rock 'n Roll

Grade 92. Larry H.
Note: coming attractions "Godzilla" Memorial Day and "Lethal Weapon 4" in July. What a country!

May 23, 1998, I have already been to four McDonalds with the wife andboy looking for teenie beanie babies, fired 150 rounds at my localindoor range, dropped by the office to check the mail, went to the mainpost office to ensure that a letter got in the mail on a Saturdayafternoon before Memorial Day, and was headed to AMC when the next thingI knew DPS Trooper Olive is explaining to me that I was going "....58 ina 45...". Gulp.Trooper: "....were you going anywhere that required you to speed?"Larry H. "No, Sir." Trooper: "where are you going?" Larry H. "Theshow, Sir." Trooper: " Alright, but you have got to slow down and Ibelieve you will, so I am just going to give you a warning, Mr.Harrison.... I don't forget a face." "Yes, sir, good bye, sir." Imade it in time for the 2:45 pm start (within the speed limit) and toget popcorn, medium coke, and milk duds. Kinda wish I had juniormints. Oh, no, I think I am suffering from Seinfeldism and could beguilty of "Criminal Indifference."

"Deep Impact" is a must see. A giant comet is heading for earth andcould possibly destroy civilization. The US and Russia have sent a spaceship to nuke the comet and throw it off course, but the voyage is riskyand desparate. Meanwhile, the president announces to the US that acontingent plan has been in place for saving 1 million people by livingin caves dug in the limestone of Missouri for the next two years. Which1 million? A lottery.

The movie is primarily about the human stories and emotions that evolvearound the central characters and the split of families and gutwrenching fear and love. Instead of allowing the comet and specialeffects to dominate the film, the writers held the course and made theviewer search his/her soul and innermost loves and emotions while thehuman tragedies and feelings of lonliness and helplessness unfolded.Don't get me wrong, the special effects were spectacular yet balanced.

Major fear and love is the basis to this picture. The sign of a greatmovie. One of the Executive Producers is Steven Spielberg. The writersBruce Joel Rubin and Michael Tolkin have produced a classic. MimiLeder, the director, will continue to be a force in Hollywood. Goodwriting and directing - so what do we need now? Robert Duvall andMorgan Freeman. Oh, sure, I could make a great movie if I had allthat. But there's more. Outstanding performances by Tea Leoni, ElijahWood, Vanessa Redgrave, and Maximilian Schell. This movie wasemotionally draining and I would have cried more, but an unauthorizedlady was sitting by me. Big crowd. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 93. Larry H.

I figured that I would slip off to the movies on the way home from workWednesday June 24th about 5:40 pm.. Some people stop off at the bar andothers go .... Well, anyway I decided to see "Dirty Work" because Ilike Norm MacDonald and Chevy Chase and that whole Saturday Night Livething so what the hay. Wrong twelve-year-old breath. This movie wastotally unimaginative and stupid, but the teenagers in attendance howledat every attempt at humor. So if you are under age 20, go see thispiece of ..... Please forgive me; I know this is a family email listbut "I lost my mind and went to the Bahamas" (Steve Martin 1979).

After suffering for forty minutes of this Work of Dirt, I walked. ItsDirty Work, but that's why I get paid the big bucks. Most of you shouldnot try this. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 69W. Larry H.

July 2, 1998, theatre #4 at AMC @ 4:30 pm. Matinee time. Lots of kidsand they don't mind speaking/hollering out. Eddie Murphy is the goodDoctor that has been "talking to the animals" since childhood and hasnot adjusted very well emotionally to this special gift.Murphy shows a side of his acting ability that is a new stretch for himand he was up for the job. Murphy's Dolittle is sensitive, charming,and funny. The animals and their human voices are well done anddialogue is on point for the various species. Some of the stars are adog (Norm Macdonald as Lucky), rats, pigeons, guinea pig (Chris Rock asRodney) and a tiger (Albert Brooks).

The film is an updated version of Hugh Lofting's classic children'sstory and kids and animal lovers will love this movie. I only went tosleep once, but was awakened by the screams of little children holleringat other little children in the theatre. Many of the children inattendance felt at ease blurting out whatever entered their stream ofconsciousness. What a country! Even though Eric was with me, there wasjust too much Doo in Dolittle to entertain me. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 75 S. Larry H.

The enemy is Robert Dean (Will Smith) a nice labor lawyer who gets caught up in a dangerous web of the Mob, National Security Administration, FBI, his law firm, his wife, and a dropout NSA spook, to name a few. Just another lawyer trying to do the Lord's work by helping his clients, but noooooo all the bad guys in D.C. end up wanting a piece of his action. At the bottom of this complicated plot is money and politics. Oh, duh. Jon Voight plays a NSA power broker who has the bullets and brains to make it happen up side your head. The politics involve the "Telecommunications and Security Act" which is the irony in the movie because every microphone, camera, spy satellite, and listening devise known to man is used in this film to aid the bad guys to catch Mr. Dean, the innocent victim. Side note: Jon Voight was the previous owner of the car purchased by George Constanza.

The "Enemy of the State" appeals to all age groups which is part of its box office magic. Its already made a gazillion dollars in less than one week. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and Director Tony Scott again team up to create a fast-paced scene-changing flick with lots of action, plots, sub plots, counter plots, and a great cast. Gene Hackman is one of my favorites and he shines in his role as an over-the-hill paranoid secret agent of the NSA that had to disappear 18 years ago because the agency needed to disavow his existence, "but I don't hold a grudge against them, I would do the same thing... it had to be done." A spy's life is dangerous. Ok, so there's this murder and a video of it and Bobby Dean accidentally ends up with the tape maybe kinda sorta and the NSA and Jon V want it. And we are off to the races over hill and dale and rooftops and alleys and lingerie shops and fast cars. Can Mr. Dean survive such an onslaught of all out surveillance war. Neat spy gadgets and guns abound. This show will keep your attention if you are an action suspense kind of guy. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 87. Larry H.

"Ever After: A Cinderella Story" is the full name of the film, but it should be named "The" Cinderella Story rather than "A" Cinderella Story. This is a winner and a "Date Flick" which is a challenging task. Tell us what a "Date Flick" is, Larry H. No problem - its a "Chick Flick" that people from Mars can enjoy and get credit for sensitivity, tenderness, and romance while not complaining and exhibiting enthusiastic interest in a movie with a strong leading lady. Guaranteed - try it.

The film follows the basic Cinderella story, yet improves the plot and the character development and contact between the prince and the common servant girl. Drew Barrymore's Danielle/Cinderella is funny, witty, intelligent, articulate, caring, passionate with a capital P, clever, fun-loving, energetic, simple dignified beauty, and cooks and sews all of her own clothes...... what prince wouldn't want an eighteen year old girl like that! Well, Prince Henry (Dougray Scott) has a choice to marry a princess from Spain per a contract arranged by his father, the King of France, and some local lady. No servants need apply. Unless you are Danielle who has to go undercover as a courtier wearing a stolen dress in order to convince the royalty to save a peasant friend of hers. While in this ruse, Danielle bumps into the prince and of course he is quite smitten by her but he does not know who she is and she gives a fake name to cover her tracks. But Prince Henry is resourceful and the hunt begins to find his "match". Of course, the Big Ball is coming up soon and the decision must be made by midnight or..... I can't tell too much. There are no pumpkin carriages or mice/footmen because this is "The" Cinderella story involving real humans that lived in 16th Century France. There is a slipper, but it's not made of glass.

Anjelica Huston is the dreaded stepmother "Rodmilla" and plays the part to perfection. She is able to combine hatred and cruelty which is synonymous with her character while salvaging some empathy from the audience. For this she will be nominated. Drew has had a rough time in Hollywood, but she, too, will be nominated and the two ladies with the famous last names will cut a fine figure at the Academy Awards next spring. The movie will receive 4-6 nominations. The most likely winner will be Costume Designer Jenny Beavan.

Even the Step Sisters were magnificent. During the show the younger one reminded me of Monica Lewinsky and then I found out her name was actually Melanie Lynskey. I don't make this stuff up, folks. Periodically, Leonardo Da Vinci played a pivotal part in the story which allowed the writers to weave his painting and inventions into the fabric of this frolicking romance.

There are many Hollywood actresses that are peeved that such a great part eluded them. Barrymore saves peasants sold into servitude, climbs trees in her under garments, throws rocks with spear-like accuracy, skillfully wields a sword and dagger, swims in her clothes, cries, loves, and is described by the Prince as "....you have more conviction in one memory than I've had in my entire life." The cinematography is spectacular! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 92. Larry H.

GO, GO, GOdzilla! I felt like I was a kid again going to see aJapanese movie about a big creature that caused people to speak funnyand the words not match the movement of their mouths. Sneak preveiw atLoew's The Fountains Wednesday night May 19th."Size Does Matter" is part of the hype and I must admit that it was thebiggest lizard that I have ever seen attack New York City. Did I sayattack? That might not be accurate because the army types that wereshooting at it/him were dumb as a board and did not seek good lines ofcommunication with the creature. Even though Matthew Broderick, thebiologist, aka "the worm guy," tried to explain stuff; folks take offhalf-cocked whenever an enormously large lizard comes out of the oceanwith an attitude.

The basic plot is the same as before, but there are some new twists andsurprises. The special effects and computer enhanced images control theflow of the show which is expected in the 90's. But I was disappointedthat I did not bond with the creature as much as I wanted. Bonding witha giant lizard can be a wonderful experience if the director allows thetrue character of the monster to evolve. The involvement of the French"CIA" was a nice addition and the subtle humor of their leader played byJean Reno was fun. This flick was a combo of "Jaws," "Jurassic Park,"and "Fatal Attraction" with a backdrop of an almost constant rain onManhattan. The command headquarters was in New Jersey. The proverbialnews cameraman was named "Animal" and his sidekick was the proverbialdumb blonde. I did not say this movie had a lot of imagination, but ifyou think you will like to see "Godzilla" then you will probably like itand will not like it unless you show up with an appropriate attitude. Ienjoyed the movie because I do not mind "silly". Oh, come on, if youcan buy in on a giant lizard the rest is easy. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 86. Larry H.

Opening day - the crowd was a little sparse. There were seven of us. Can't fool the public. The backdrop of this almost Capraesque movie is a home shopping network that will do anything to increase sales. The studio stage, control room etc. of the Good Buy Shopping Network is the work and playground of Ricky (Jeff Goldblum) and Kate (Kelly Preston). Ricky is an on-air talent and his sales have been "flat" for months and he is given an ultimatum to do better or else. Kate is a marketing person who has all the answers if Ricky will follow her suggestions. Ricky is the fallen guy that must be rescued by a angel-type person a la Capra and then grow into doing the right thing. The angel type person is the "Holy Man" played by Eddie Murphy. The Holy Man who wears only a robe-like shirt and flowing pants the entire movie is named simply "G". Apparently, he has no past, drivers license, social security number etc. Yet, this Holy Man talks softly and with confidence that all you have to do is "Let go and .......Let God" - negative on that. G says, as he hawks products on the failing network, "Let go and trust your inner desires... and continue your journey." That's not an angel, that's New Wave mumbo jumbo. But the ploy works in this film and convinces the shopping network public and G is on the cover of "Time" and "Newsweek" and yada, yada, yada.

This is not "Touched By An Angel"; it's "Touched By A Baldheaded Eddie Murphy Speaking Feel-Good Lines While Saving Jeff Goldblum From His Sorry Self So He Can Love Kate, Save The Network, And G Can Keep Moving On His Journey." I say "G"ood riddance.

The amazing aspect of this movie is that the acting was outstanding. But the story was sappy, sophomoric, and stupid. The viewers around the country bought "G" shirts with such captions as "G is Good" and "The G Generation" and made statements like "Higher Consciousness...Lower Prices!" Geez.

This is the second movie in a row that I have seen whose leading character had a single letter of the alphabet as a name. Z and now G. I think I will change my name. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 75. L

Wednesday evening AMC theartre #4 - small capacity located in a sidecorner. Coke (no Mr. Pibb, thank you) hotdog, mustard, catchup, relish,popcorn, butter, and junior mints for dessert. Me and Kramer likejunior mints. The show is about to start and the theatre complex has a"power outage". The reason I know other than the house lights wereturned on high beam was because a man explained it to us over a PAsystem not unlike an airline captain. While the lights were turned up,I got the chance to check out the crowd and realized that of the 35-40humans in attendance that 36 of them were women. There were gangs ofwomen together. One pregnant woman was with three of her nonpregnantgirl friends. Uh, oh - Chick Flick alert. In about 8 minutes a female(presumably the flight attendant) voice told us over the PA system thatwe would be continuing the movie shortly. And we did.

Sandra Bullock plays Birdee Calvert who is going through a painfuldivorce so she leaves Chicago with her young daughter and returns toSmithville, Texas, where she was Prom Queen (actually Queen of Corn) aswell as the local foxy lady many years ago. She and the daughterBernice (Mae Whiman) move in with Birdee's mother played by GenaRowlands. Where are the men? Either they had a stroke or ran off witha floozy. Heart break, tears, anger, mother-daughter issues-conflicts,high school syndrome, small town gossip and competition, funny, sad, Ineed a job please, I just want to be a good mother, your daddy does notlove me anymore, I can't get out of bed because I am too depressed butlet's not call it depression, there's always hope, yada, yada, yada. Inthe new dictionaries, the phrase "Chick Flick" has a picture of SandraBullock with her arm around Mae Whitman with the notation: "see HopeFloats"

Finally, Harry Connick, Jr., (Justin) comes on the scene to woo Birdeeout of her funk and of course Birdee has a hard time realizing what agreat deal she has with "aw shucks I'm just a handyman-architect highschool guy that you never spoke to" Justin.

All four of these actors were excellent in their roles. The actingsaved this movie for me because the "God Bomb Theory" was dangerouslyclose to kicking in. If you are a woman, stop what you are doing andcall 2-3 of your buds and insist that they call off Bunko Night and gosee this movie. If you are a man you should see this movie if: a) youlike to cook and give massages or b) shopping is routine and fun foreveryone c) like cats and/or your mother in law or d) do not like Mikeor e) aren't really from Mars just say that you are or f) secretlythink John Wayne was a Communist. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 75. Larry H.

July 10, 1998. I have been in a legal seminar for two days and Inoticed that we had an hour and half for lunch on Friday. So guess whatI did. I have been anxiously waiting for LW4 for months. I haveenjoyed LW1-3 and like all the shoot 'em up action. Great guns.Gibson's Berretta 92 FS even has a laser attached to it this time.Chris Rock shows up as a wise-talking, kiss-up cop that carries a ColtGold Cup. Glover still carries a frumpy revolver. LW4 is out of themold of the first three, but I was very disappointed. Gibson and Gloverappeared to have lost that charm that made us play along with theirsilliness in deadly situations and have fun doing it. It did not helpmy attitude when an anti-gun poster and slogans showed up in the policesquad room with the classic red circle with a line through "NRA".Director Richard Donner was making a political statement by allowingthis poster to be seen in several camera angles and he can kiss myfoot. About an hour into this flick, I walked out very sad and returnedto my seminar. Darn. Rock ' n Roll.

69W. Larry H.

"Warning, Warning!" I do not normally like sci-fi films. And I did notlike this one. Went to the 5:00PM flick Wed April 8th at AMC. Tookthe wife and boy. They loved it. Go figure. Neither sat by me,though. Monique gave it a grade of "at least a 90" and Eric gave it a"101". These people are not trained. Be advised. Sure, the picturesold over $20 million the first weekend - but we all know how goofy some people are.

Larry H. has been sweet on Angela "Penny" Cartwright since regularlywatching her on the 1960's TV series. I like the TV show a lot. Ithought that weasel Dr. Smith on TV was the classic guy you love tohate; I wanted to routinely choke him. But this teenager girl LaceyChabert who played "Penny" is no Angela Cartwright. She looked like astreet waif. My man Gary Oldman played Dr Smith with his usual skill,but I didn't care. Ditto for Willliam Hurt as Professor Robinson whotook his entire overachieving family on this save humanity trek to anever-never land named Alpha Prime. The year 2058 - things were bad onearth. But "oh, no" they got lost in space. The Robinson family putthe "fun" in dysfunctional. So the film's Major West, the pilot, fitnicely with the Robinsons because the character was played by Matt "hey 'Friends' cast I gotta go over here and make this film thing about space and I play a hunky hero ok Blanc. You know what happens when those TV types try to make it to big screen. Sorry, Helen.

Bright spots: special effects were wonderful; cinematography beautiful;and the sound was extraordinary. However, the story was dumb as aboard, corny, and campy. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 78. Larry H.

Its is a cold and rainy afternoon and I am in a hurry because I'm running late for the 11:50am show time and I'm thinking about how I'm going to Hobby Airport after the show to pick up my friend Arnie "The Body" Christianson (He's from Minnesota) and something really embarrassing happens. I was wearing my usual Friday afternoon going-to-the-movie attire of tight wranglers, HiTech hiking shoes, casual shirt, and a lock of my hair was hanging down almost touching one eye when I heard a female voice over my left shoulder cry out "...Brad....Brad.... oh Brad..." I thought surely she is not calling to me, but she came closer and began to follow me...and I began to run toward the ticket counter...and she was coming ever closer...when I whirled around and looked her right in the eye and softly yet firmly said "...my dear woman I am not Brad Pitt... I am the humble Larry H." A small tear formed in the corner of her eye and began to trickle down her cheek, and I headed to theatre #1. Whew, that fame must be difficult for some to handle.

"Meet Joe Black" starring Brad Pitt as Death, who has come to get William Parrish (Anthony Hopkins), has a memorable and attention-getting beginning, a spectacular ending that will bring tears to your eyes, and all the right stuff in between that makes a wonderful experience at the movies. I was riveted to the screen the entire three hours and cared deeply about the characters. Bill Parrish is a very rich chairman of the board kind of guy that is also a pretty nice man. So why has Mr. Death come to get him? Bill and Death enter into an agreement that Bill will not reveal who Death is and in turn Bill will have a little longer to live. The Brad Pitt body is chosen by Death in order to "take a holiday" and experience being a human. However, Bill must cope with this unusual situation as best he can and awkwardly introduces Death to his family as Joe Black. To complicate things more, Joe falls in love with Bill's daughter Susan. The stares, glances, and touching between Joe and Susan are things of legendary love. I've said it before - there's nothing greater than love unless its forbidden love. Claire Forlani, as Susan, is magnificent and on my short list of Academy nominations. Brad Pitt could come out of this movie with a new reputation as an actor and not just another Robert Redford look alike. Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, the boy's hair is more dominant than Redford's, if that's possible. Watch his hair in this movie; its amazing. Sir Anthony is astonishing as always and soon will get one of those Lifetime Achievement Awards. I want one of those.

This is billed as a remake of the old movie "Death Takes a Holiday" and scores with intrigue and immortality. Nobody took a holiday when making this film, so high marks for Producer/Director Martin Brest. Brest delivered love, death, sadness, anger, suspense, and the best of all - gratitude! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 94. Larry H.

Saturday 10:25am at Theatre #20 AMC. The theatre in Sugar Land has beenopened sinced December 18, 1998, and the chairs and carpet still havethat "new theatre" smell."Mercury Risisng" stars Bruce Willis, the Steve McQueen of the 90's.This is a fun and suspenseful "action" flick that involves the FBI vs.Art Jefferies (Willis) vs. the NSA vs. Art and his new found friendSimon. Simon (Miko Hughes) is a nine year old autistic boy who iswanted by bad government types becuse the little tike broke theunbreakable security code (named "Mercury") that Alec Baldwin and hiskill you if you mess with the code or make us look bad to other stupidgovernment types and it does not matter if you are right goons mustaccount for to preserve the identity of undercover agents around theworld.

But, alas, these government goons have underestimated the fallen fromgrace Jefferies. Early in the show we learn that Art got a little POedat his FBI superior and hit the dude right upside the head. Uh oh, Art,you gotta go do stakeout duty until we really need you on a big job.Like protecting young Simon from kidnapping and sure death. Thecharacter development and plot building is superb. In the first thirtyminutes of the show, I had already been brought to tears and had acouple of waves of goosepimples.

The story is taken from the novel "Simon Says" and must be a good read,because this Hollywood version is a cross between "Rainman" austitickid, "Bullit" S. McQueen protecting a witness, "Wargames" kid breaksnuclear codes, and "Lethal Weapon" modern cop on the edge and has toshoot a lot and has facial lacerations.

By the Numbers - Tears: 2 Goosepimples: 8 Redeeming Social Value: 0 Art's gun: 9mm Sigma

Rock 'n Roll

Grade: 89 Larry H.

Sunday, December 20, 1998. Sneak Preview of "Mighty Joe Young" and Young Eric H. wants to see the movie and I am a sucker for a "sneak." As an added bonus at Loew's, we could stay after the movie for a double feature for no extra charge and see "A Bug's Life." Not. "MJY" stars a 2000 pound gorilla, William "Twister" Paxton and a cute blond woman with the last name of Theron, I think. The movie is rated G which is a rarity these days.

We are introduced to Joe when he is only six months old, and he is already bigger than your average gorilla. His last name "Young" is taken from the woman who studied Joe and the other gorillas in Africa a la Jane Goodall. The movie version of Jane Goodall is Ruth Young who dies trying to save Joe and the other gorillas from some greedy no-account poachers. But before Ruth dies she asks her twelve year old daughter to "take care of Joe." And we all know that daughters always do what their dying mothers request. The daughter's name is Jill. Jill is the "gorilla girl" not Jane of the jungle even though she frolics in the jungle in shorts and tight tank top with permed hair. Jill and Joe grow up together and Joe is a lot bigger than Jill. The poachers are still trying to capture Joe, so Jill and Joe do the only thing one can do in such a situation - go to California to live in a animal conservation type place so the mean 'ole poachers will not get them. Darn the luck - the poachers follow them to California and cause a stink.

This is a Disney movie without any boldness or chance-taking at all. Its not a classic nor is it the 90's version of King Kong. Its a simple movie about a 2000 pound gorilla (silver back) that has some living problems and is temperament challenged. I did not demand my money back, but it was close. You people need to understand that I rate movies based on what Larry H likes and "to heck" with everyone else. Kids will like this movie. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 72. Larry H.

September 18, 1998. About 30 minutes ago I wrote a heart-felt review about "One True Thing" and its gone into cyberspace never to be retrieved. I don't have time or the energy to recreate it. So, here's the short version. Great movie. 4-6 nominations including best picture. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 94. Larry H. 4:30 pm Friday

Opening day June 26th at Loew's Theatre #17 at 11:25 am. Had a roughmorning at the office and left for the show very tense, but I startwinding down immediately upon sitting down in my rocking chair in thedark. Blood pressure low. Fantasy is good. I don't need therapyanymore, you know.

"Out of Sight" is about George I'm handsome and have a killer voiceClooney as a bank robber ex-con who breaks out of prison and gets"hooked" up with FBI agent Jennifer I've got a hot body and a new gunLopez. Typical formula movie with the sexy stars and simple plot? No,actually this movie works because the characters are likable andcharming in a criminal sort of way. Pull for the bad guys syndrome.Even the wacko murderers have a certain redeeming quality that can onlybe revealed by a skillfully written script and good direction. DirectorSteven Soderbergh does his part and the screenplay is adapted from anovel by Elmore Leonard. The supporting cast of Ving Rhames (PulpFiction), Don Cheadle, and Steve Zahn are the right mix of good guy/ badguy/ murderer/ thief/ bully to make the film click with the mystique ofa "Fargo."

The film let the viewer know in what direction the characters were goingwithout being predictable - a little suspense is vital and this picturehad a "fresh" quality that is required of a successful story. Uncutdiamonds worth $5 million and characters called "Snoopy, White Boy, andBuddy" blend nicely in the mix of beauty and braun. Even the filmediting was good with the use of repeated stop action, flashbacks, flashforwards, and dreams.

The scene between Clooney and Lopez in the trunk of a car is memorable.Lopez' character is certainly a 90's woman and my kind of woman, I mightadd, because she is genuinely pleased when she receives from her fathera birthday gift of a new Sig Sauer .380. However, when she needs to dosome serious shooting she pulls out her Beretta 92FS. Do Clooney andLopez get together and live happily ever after? Rock 'n Roll

Grade 88. Larry H

It's December 26th and the Christmas movies are in full force. "Patch Adams" had its opening on Christmas Day, but I could not attend because I had an opening of my own - presents, of course. This is a movie about Robin Williams playing Dr. Patch Adams. The preceding sentence is not a misprint; I mean that the movie is dominated by Williams. This is not a criticism; just a fact. We meet up with Hunter Adams in 1969 as he is entering a psychiatric hospital for treatment for suicide tendencies. While in this hospital he receives his nickname of "Patch" and his outlook on life and medicine: life is laughter and medicine is mucked up.

After a relatively quick recovery from his depression Patch decides to enter Virginia Medical University in 1971 to become a doctor that truly cares about the person and not just the disease and to "really connect with people." The problem is that Patch marches to his own drummer and although he is brilliant, he rubs the medical dean and establishment the wrong way and is repeatedly threatened with expulsion from med school. In his student file, the dean accuses him of "excessive happiness." Actually, he is only guilty of being over-the-top Robin Williams/Patch Adams. This role may be Williams defining legacy. Naah. Anyway, Williams' Patch Adams is a combination of the irreverence of Alan Alda's Dr. Hawkeye Pierce, the mischievousness of Jack Nicholson's Randall in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" and the dedication of Williams own concerned psychologist in "Good Will Hunting." Once again Williams has shown talent that most actors only dream about. He has already received a Golden Globe nomination and has a good chance to challenge Tom Hanks for the big prize of Best Actor when the Academy presents their awards in March '99.

I was in college and law school when Patch was in med school. We wore a lot of the same shirts. The costumes and music capture the 70's. Props to director Tom Shadyac who also directed "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" and Monica Potter who played the love interest.

The audience at Loew's was large and it laughed and cried in all the right places and there are many opportunities for caring and crying. This movie will be a mega-hit. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 93. Larry H.

It was Sunday afternoon and I was on my way to Barnes and Noble and as Idrove passed the AMC theatre which is on the way, my jeep swerved intothe parking lot and soon I was at the ticket counter trying to determinethe next showtime of a movie that I had not seen. I was also hungry sopopcorn and a coke was part of the mix. "Paulie"? What the heck's"Paulie" about. Oh, well. I bought a ticket and hurried to theartre #1after purchasing coke and popcorn with butter.

"Paulie" is the greatest movie ever made about a parrot. Brought tearsto my eyes three times. That Paulie could talk and comprehend theEnglish language. Separation from loved ones, dedication anddetermination to reunite, lies, fraud, and frivolity. Wings clipped.Wings grow back. Great cast; good family film. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 85. Larry H.

October 23, 1998. Opening Day. Loew's at the Fountains and some Bubba driving a big white pickup got my parking spot. Where's Pleasantville when you need it? How many of you more mature folks on this list were alive in 1958? That's the flashback year for the setting of this flick. Teenage brother and sister in the '90's are fighting over a special remote control that was given to them by the TV repairman (Don Knotts) and - voila - they are transported into TV Pleasantville that is currently being shown on a Nickelodeon type all night marathon of the show that is set in the '50's called "Pleasantville." This town and its inhabitants and the story line are a combination of "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" "Father Knows Best" "Twilight Zone" "Back to the Future" and the "Wizard of Oz."

The teenagers are David (Tobey Maguire) and Jennifer (Reese Witherspoon); from a broken home and still young enough to be full of dreams and fears and not have a clue who they really are. So they are good candidates to go off to the land of "Pleasantville" where everything is literally black and white without change, discord, disease, rain, or a missed goal in basketball. And the Ozzie-father comes home everyday from work and hangs his hat, drops his briefcase, and declares "Honey, I'm home." and then Harriet/June Cleaver-mother greets him in flowing dress and pearls. The problem is that our two teenagers that are the children of Ozzie (William H. Macy) and Harriet (Joan Allen) feel compelled to show the dull little folks "the ways of the world" and all heck breaks loose.

This film is a satire of every aspect of American culture: sex, race, nudity, stupidity, and some other idities. I cared what happened to these folks and the towns people, especially the owner of the malt shop played by Jeff Daniels. Dorothy and Toto could have been in this movie and explained to the viewer...."is there someplace where there is no trouble?....do you think it exists, Toto?....maybe somewhere over the rainbow, but no - we don't even have any color here on this farm that's about to get hit by a tornado....but wait, Toto, now that we are in the Land of Oz (Pleasantville) we have color and we can find our dreams in..... in our own backyard ... it was in us all the time.... oh Toto its so good to be home." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 89. Larry H.

March 20, 1998, the first day of Spring. Loew's. Parking spot #1.Going to see a political movie with big stars. What a country!"Primary Colors" was surprisingly funny even though it twisted off and became boring in the last third of the film. The story is about a presidential campaign from New Hampshire to the White House looselyfashioned after the Clinto campaign. John Travolta plays Jack Stanton, a governor from a Southern state, that is slightly puggy, eats doughnuts, loves his momma and some other women that are not his wife, and has a very involved highly skilled wife played by Emma Thompson. One of the political gurus is played by Billy Bob Thornton which is one of the bright spots of the picture. Kathy Bates is memorable as "Libby" who is called the "Dust Buster" among other things because she cleans up the Governor's messes.

This picture is not the dramatic inside story of a real campaign thatreveals to the viewer what really goes on the way "The Candidate"starring Robert Redford did in the 1970's. The plot and character development was predictable and puny. Maybe I am just an old political hack and needed more than this movie could give. This story would have been better if it was just an all out comedy. But noooooo they had to try to make political statments and present moral issues. Boooorrrrriiiinnnnggg. Acting good. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 82. Larry H.

December 22, 1998, the first day of winter and its near freezing, raining, and the wind is blowing. Sounds like movie weather to me. The wife drops the boy off at AMC and I once again try to see an animated film without prejudice. Can't do it. The Prince is Moses, of course, and its the wonderful true story about Moses speaking on behalf of God and when Moses raises his staff it can do "...God's wonders" and/or plagues (frogs, blood, death etc) depending on your perspective. Moses repeatedly told his brother the Pharaoh Ramses to "Let my people go," but Ramses had a hard heart and things got bad for the Egyptians. However, Moses' task is to lead the Hebrews, God's chosen people, to the promise land of milk and honey.

I think this is an animation that is spectacularly crafted. The music is outstanding in a simple, animated kinda way. This animation by Dreamworks will be the king of the 90's and the measuring stick for all others. I don't care.

The many well known character voices for our listening pleasure continue the "Hollywood Full Employment Act" - Val Kilmer (Moses), Ralph Fiennes, Patrick Stewart, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sandra Bullock, Jeff Goldblum, and Danny Glover.

The parting of the sea and the "walls of water" were breath-taking and the highlight of the film for me just as the original version created by Cecil B. The flick got 10 bonus points for the sea scene. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 80 S. Larry H.

I am not near as tick as Alfred Hitchcock. Director Gus Van Sant took a big chance when he tried to repaint the Mona Lisa. That's like pulling on Superman's cape or the mask of the Lone Ranger. Don't do it, man. Well, ole Gus took a shot at it and at least he followed the script which is as wonderful today as it was when Hitch brought it to the screen in 1960. Where's Anthony Perkins when you need him? Nobody plays crazy better than Tony! Even though Vince Vaughn's Norman Bates was a gallant effort, he's still not the real Norman. I compared Vaughn's every movement and gesture to Perkin's Norman Bates and that's not fun for a viewer; such an effort causes disappointment and fatigue rather than intrigue.

Marion Crane (Anne Heche) steals 400K this time, what with inflation and all (setting is Dec 11,1998) and leaves Phoenix, AZ, to parts unknown. The close-up scenes of Marion driving and hearing the voices accuse her "in her mind" and yet she is determined to keep driving and get away while the music is playing is still a work of art. That Hitchcockian/Psycho music can and was duplicated and it is the finest aspect of the movie. The violins, bass, and harps are still mysterious and scary.

The Shower Scene. Yes, it is reproduced, but something is lost when done in color and this time round Norman's wielding of the knife is more violent and bloody. The terror is missing. The terror IS the shower scene, so what happen? Van Sant tries to be true to the record even to the point of the close-ups of the shower head from below as the water is harmlessly falling on Marion immediately before you-know-what-happens.

Milton Arbogast. One of the all time great literary names. Private Investigator Arbogast was played magnificently by William H "Fargo" Macy. The boyfriend Sam Loomis was ably performed by Viggo Mortensen and perhaps the brightest and only improvement from the original cast was the part of the worried sister Lila Crane (Julianne Moore) who pushed the investigation of the missing Marion.

Great lines that live forever: "Yes, we have a vacancy - 12 rooms - 12 vacancies.... No one ever comes around much anymore since the new highway .... Why don't you stay in Room #1 so you will be close to the office.... ( so Norman can look through the peep hole).... I stuff things - you know - taxidermy.... Norman, don't you put me back in that fruit cellar.... Norman WAS his mother....

The first sight of the neon sign "Bates Motel" still causes fear and Van Sant captures a few memorable scenes of fright, but he cannot stand up to the scrutiny of a Hitchcock fan. This movie did not meet my expectations; and I am feeling very smug about it. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 78. Larry H.

September 25, 1998. Theatre #1 at Loew's. 12:10pm. 80-90 folks. Small theatre. I told the manager that he needed to shift this movie to a larger venue because "Ronin" will be a box office hit. I am always trying to help others. He thanked me. I think the manager at Loew's likes me because he thinks that my patronage is important to his pension and profit sharing plan.

What in the world is Robert De Niro doing in a movie like this - you ask yourself. Because its one of the most thoughtful, fun, and exciting guns and bombs movie in a long time and Bobby knew it. This flick is a combination of Hitchcock's "The Man Who Knew Too Much," a James Bond movie, and a good episode of "Mission Impossible" with a couple of car chases worthy of Steve McQueen in "Bullit". I am getting all mushy just thinking about it.

De Niro (Sam) plays a worn out CIA guy who is hired to do a job for reasons unknown, but he needs the money. He is hooked up with a rag-tag group of other KGB types that are seemingly out of work and are willing to be a "Ronin" which is according to Japanese tradition is a former samurai warrior who is out on his own because his master has died. Sam's main partner is Vincent the French guy played by Jean Reno. The head of the group is Dierdre, an Irish gal that knows how to use a weapon and manipulate men to accomplish the very dangerous task of ambushing a 2-3 car caravan and capturing a suitcase type container before the Russians buy or steal it. What's in the case? That's part of the fun and why they call it "action suspense." The movie takes place in various parts of France and on the very narrow streets of Europe.

Casting was a cinch for this movie. Let's get De Niro and make sure the lines in his face are not touched up and that he always has a two day growth and get Jean Reno for the weird French flare and throw in Natascha McElhone (Dierdre) for long legs and golden blond hair and keep it moving and provide only enough hints to the story so the viewer will have to think and wish for a program that would help keep up with all the characters, plots, and double crosses.

Sam's favorite gun was a "1911 style ....45 caliber" pistol and miscellaneous anti-tank weapons that blow up cars and stuff. High marks for guns and bombs. Director John Frankenheimer has produced an action movie that does not rely heavily on special effects, but rather an actor's glance or stare with sound contrasts that go from loud explosions to a quick cut to a singing choir. Camera positions were Hitchcockian. The story is interesting the entire 121 minutes. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 92. Larry H.

September 11, 1998. I ain't scared of no flood. Frances was just a little 'ole TD - wasn't no 'cane, so you water wussies quit trying to play the rain card and get out on the street and watch a good movie. Ok, so this is not the Ken Starr report, but at least its only rated "R". Theatre #17 Loew's- about 80-90 folks at a noon showing. Matt Damon is a big star with mega box office quality. As the movie starts I am drinking a big Dr. Pepper and eating buttered popcorn with one hand and chocolate covered almonds with the other. I was wound a little tight for this one.

"Rounders" is about the game of poker/Texas Hold 'Em and the characters that make up the players. We get to know these players and most importantly their defects which are painful. Damon stars as Mike McDermott and serves as a part-time narrator and explains to us before the title of the movie "... that after a half hour, if you have not figured out who the sucker is, then its probably you." What a great line! McDermott is in law school paid for by his gambling money and is living with classmate Jo (Gretchen Mol) who is not too happy with the boy's obsessive behavior, but Mike is trying to give up gambling and playing cards even though he emphasizes that "... its not about luck" - its about odds and knowing when to fold a hand and walk away. Mike's old high school buddy "Worm" (Edward Norton) is getting out of prison for fixing a basketball game which involved Mike, but Worm did not rat him out which is the good news and the bad news for Mike. Trying to return this favor with loyalty is playing with fire when dealing with the hapless, loser Worm. I found myself wanting to scream out to Mike - "Hey, Mike, why do you think they call him Worm?" already. Mike and Worm win some and lose some and sometimes do not know when to fold em. Worm owes $15,000.00 to the local Mafia wannabe. The enforcer is named "Grama" who leans on the boys to make payment in five days or else. Grama's boss is Teddy KGB. I give high marks for the name alone. Teddy is a Russian goon that also is a top player in the "clubs" in the New York City area. Teddy has his own club and is superbly played by John Malkovich even though one would not mistake his accent for a real Ruskie. We learn in this movie that professional players do not think and act like you and me and can "read" the tourist player by watching for "tells" which reveals the cards held by the unschooled by knowing what the casual touch of the cards or hand over the mouth really means. Or the obvious check-raise by the rookie who is trying to finesse the big boys and is merely falling into their trap.

Before going to this movie I interviewed my semi-professional poker playing brother, Hold 'Em Harrison. We agreed that the all time greatest poker playing movie was "The Cincinnati Kid" starring Edward G. Robinson and Steve McQueen. "Rounders" will at least cause an argument among players when discussing this subject. You poker players will be glad to see that Johnny Chan, former winner of the million dollar World Series of Poker in Las Vegas, is given a revered role in this flick.

Damon carries this movie. The boy is hot. Don't forget that in December of '97 we first saw "Good Will Hunting" and only a few weeks ago we saw him play the title role in "Saving Private Ryan." His Mike McDermott is played with ease by what now appears to be a veteran actor who is not yet 30. I think he needs an agent from Sugar Land. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 88. Larry H.

I've seen both of these animations. I don't like animations as a general rule. Eric H. (age 12) liked both of them. I still don't like animations. Rock 'n Roll.

Rugrats - Grade 70
A Bug's Life - Grade 69 S
Larry H.

October 15, 1998, 12:10 pm Loew's #11. I swear I thought it was Friday (Pants on Fire!) Ok, so maybe I was just slipping off to catch a little ole 96 minute movie and I was back at the office before anyone missed me. I needed to laugh.

And laughs is what I got. This movie is a knee-slapper if you, too, are goofy and/or like slap-stick. Setting: LA. Plot: eleven year old daughter of Chinese diplomat is kidnapped by Hong Kong mafia-types and demands $50 million for her safe return. Enter the egotistical FBI who do not want the help of Detective Lee (Jackie Chan) who is flying in from Hong Kong to help out. So, the FBI gets the LAPD to assign someone to baby-sit this Chinese detective and keep him out of their business. The LAPD cop assigned to this silly task is Detective James Carter (Chris Tucker). Tucker plays a jive talking hip-hop cop that does not want a partner including the high-kicking Lee.

Tucker gets in one mess after another and Lee bails him out when possible and the quips between them and Tucker and anyone he comes into contact with are hilarious. Meanwhile, the little girl will be blown up real good unless somebody saves the day.

Jackie Chan's karate/kung fu kicks, spins, jumps, and all around butt stomping of bad guys is a thing of beauty - even if you do not like such foolishness. This movie is fun and does not let the stupid story line get in the way of some good guns, bombs, bad guys, gags, and guffaws. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 86. Larry H.

Speilberg. Fear. Sadness. Blood. Honor. Bravery. Cowardice. Intensity. Realism.

This film is about war as presented by Steven Speilberg. There is certainly a story about saving the fourth son of a family who has already lost three in World War II, but the gut wrenching depiction of the tragedy and horror of war is the fabric of this movie. Captain John Miller (Tom Hanks) and seven soldiers are superbly played with the appropriate amount of bonding and character development as they set out to bring Private Ryan home to safety. "Why does he get to go home.... I got a mother, Sarg's got a mother....". "He better be worth it" is the general consensus of the this squad of eight that has the confusing task of saving Pvt. Ryan behind enemy lines at a time when they, like everyone else, also want to go home and get out of the hell that has caught them and will not let them escape.

This movie's opening battle scene of the landing on Omaha Beach on June 6, 1944, could only be produced by Spielberg. The crying and pain and bullets to the heads of US soldiers who were mowed down as they bravely landed on the beaches of Normandy is tremendously sad and frightful. Spielberg, as he did in "Shindler's List," does not spare the viewer any amount of realism - a soldier lying on his back on the beach with both hands holding his intestines as other soldiers race by in an a desperate attempt to reach safety sets the tone early. Its bloody.

I've heard Spielberg say in interviews that the key to making a movie is "....it never stops beginning..." The film covers one week of the war. Captain Miller is the classic hero/leader that does not want his task but will rise to the occasion without seeming to care if the plan works or not. To insure that Spielberg's Capt. Miller is human and vulnerable, he cast Tom Hanks who plays the part with a periodic, uncontrollable tremor in is right hand and a moral compass that spins. Matt Damon plays Pvt. Ryan and was cast before "Good Will Hunting" made him a star so his role is smaller than the box-office-sensitive Spielberg would have liked had he known. Damon is good anyway.

The movie is 169 minutes. Never boring or slow, but a long time to experience this event. So, unless you are physically and emotionally fit, do not go. As the closing credits began, the audience responded in a measured, patriotic, and respectful applause. I will not see this film again for a long time. I've had enough. The Academy will reward this film handsomely. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 94. Larry H.

October 2, 1998, AMC Theatres at First Colony in Sugar Land. Theatre # 23; very small and intimate. Simon Birch (Ian Michael Smith) is a twelve year old boy that was abnormally small (under three feet) since birth. His parents were embarrassed of him and provided little emotional support. But Simon was blessed with his dear friend Joe Wentworth (Joseph Mazzello) who was very normal, cute, athletic, and had a loving mother (Ashley Judd) that treated Simon as a son. Joe and Simon had a lot in common though: Simon had no parental support and Joe had no father; the kids called Simon names like "Little Munchin" and Joe "the little Bastard". Joe and Simon were buds in a small town that was big on gossip and judging their neighbors. They played baseball, swam, and Joe rode his bike with a side cart that fit Simon perfectly.

They attended the local New England church together, too. The Sunday School teacher was superbly portrayed by Jan Hooks whose specialty was shame. And the Rev. Russell was at a loss to answer Simon's many questions: "Does God have a plan for each us?....I think he has plan for me and I think he has a special purpose for me..." Simon has a deep faith in God. Joe is not so sure.

This is a "tug at your heart" film and it makes no apology. The story begins with Joe as an adult in the cemetery with the church in the background looking down on the grave of "Simon Birch 1952-1964" so I was feeling sad even before the opening narration by adult Joe (Jim Carrey - yes that Jim Carrey) told us that "Simon Birch taught me more about God than...." Whoa, we're not even finished with the opening credits and we know death and loving friendship is the backbone of the story. The bond between these two twelve year olds, the love of a mother, a fatherless boy , a misunderstood boy, misguided Christians, a loving God, romance. Joe's mother dies an accidental and tragic death and takes the secret of the identity of Joe's real father with her. Not knowing the identity of his real father and his perceived need to know is one of the compelling themes of the movie.

Simon represents the good in people and the qualities that we strive for: love, understanding, intelligence, forgiveness, loyalty, mischievous, unbending beliefs, strength of conviction, fun loving, appreciative. He also likes to go under water while swimming and test his little body's ability to hold air while he counts "... one Mississippi, two Mississippi...etc " and seems to increase his ability to stay under water longer and longer. Simon gets frustrated when Joe does not share his enthusiasm about holding his breath. Joe tells Simon "..that nobody cares how long you can hold your breath..." but Simon keeps pushing the issue because "...who knows why..." Simon loved baseball, Roger Maris, airplanes, and Joe. This story captures love on many levels. One of the "loving" characters was Ms. Wentworth's last boyfriend Ben played by Oliver Platt who is fast becoming one of the great character actors of the 90's. Ben is the adult that the two boys trust.

The relationship between Simon and Joe should be required viewing for anyone that has trouble expressing love or understanding God. I made a mistake today. I did not take my twelve year old son with me to see "Simon Birch". I will correct that mistake this weekend. I added four points to this grade based on the last twenty minutes of the movie. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 90. Larry H.

I tried real hard not to go see this movie because I thought it would bepredictable and puny. Well I was right for the most part except thissilly little movie tricked me into caring about the characters andhoping everthing would work out peachy keen in the end. You know theplot: Harrison Ford and Anne Heche crash on a deserted island and woeis them. David Schwimmer plays his typical immature, slow talking,dim-witted character that he has patented on "Friends". Does the olderguy yet again get the young blond?

This movie probably is salvageable because the director is Ivan "I'mCrazy, Aren't You?" Reitman. The story is one part "Lagoon," RockHudson and Doris Day, "Flight of the Phoenix," and one part "Gidget goesto Hawaii/Kaui," and one part Indiana Jones is older now so this mustslow down so I can still be a leading man in an action film.

The crowd at Loew's was around 60 for a Friday June 12th 12:30 pmshowing which bodes well for potential box office, but more importantlythe crowd was very diverse: old, young, women, men, kids, dates, andgoofy lawyers. Speaking of handsome lawyers, and you know who you are,people are now saying that I am aging well and looking more and morelike Harrison Ford. Aw shucks, I don't know, maybe its just a namething.Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 80. Larry H.

This is a kid flick. Do not go see this movie without a pre-teen. Fortunately, I have one on staff so we caught this flick on the way home from the factory on Monday July 20th at AMC. Popcorn and Gummi-bears and Mr. Pibb. Animation 1998 style. Two nervous nerds trying to save their jobs develop a platoon of commando "toys" that walk, talk, and think becuase they have a military chip implanted called "X 1000". "....now all we need is an enemy ..." for the commandos to kill and mame and we got a hot seller. So the nerds' company Globotech and its CEO Denis Leary develop the products including a hapless group of "Gorgonites" that are programmed to hide from the commandos and get their pitiful self blown up by the commandos led by Major Chip Hazard (voice by Tommy Lee Jones). Things get out of hand and Alan the young teenager and his "girlfriend" get emeshed with the creatures and before long there are mass quantities of bombs, fires, and general attacks by the commandos vs. Gordonites and all humans that appear to be friendly. The show is only 109 minutes. You can do it. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 82. Larry H.

I am standing in line to buy a ticket at Loew's at The Fountains inside the big lobby and the song "Summer Love" is playing real loud and Olivia, John and the Cast of "Grease" are rockin' and I'm be-bopping in that style where you know you have uncontrollable happy feet and hope you aren't making too big of a scene. I bought my ticket and had to go to the latrine, so I go in a stall and now I can hear the song even better and I feel like I am in the bleachers with the boys and I can feel my leather coat and greasy hair, and I am really rockin and groovin'. And then I come out of the stall and the song is over, and I have to act like a normal person lest I call attention to myself in a somewhat dubious setting. I hand my ticket to Martin and he directs me to Theatre #17 and quietly take my seat near the aisle fully prepared to enjoy a Brian De Palma film.

I like Nicholas Cage and Gary "Lt. Dan" Sinise but once again we learn that good acting cannot save a poor script and disjointed characters and story line. Championship fight is going on at a big hotel in Atlantic City and the Secretary of Defense is shot right under the noses of local cop Rick Santoro (Cage) and Navy Commander Kevin Dunne (Sinise) who are at the fight to protect the Secretary. Now how can such a thing happen? Don't know - don't care. Carla Gugino is the goofy female lead and she's cute. That's good.

It's a typical De Palma high-intensity-action-blood-loud-quick scenery changes-odd camera angles film and Brian should not give up directing and producing. I could sense during the movie that there was some talent floating around in the film, I just couldn't put my finger on it nor did I find the whole mess interesting. Sinise did have a big silencer on his Navy issue Beretta which could shoot very quietly and cause maximum blood loss.

I suppose that Cage's buds/agent came to him and said, "Hey, Nickie, you are practically a De Palma Clone. You can go all hyper and run around with blood on your face and take bribes and never tell where the girl is hidden and you'll be a macho hero and it won't matter if the story is stupid and a hurricane named "Jezebel" is blowing in the background during the entire flick. You can pull this off. It'll be great." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 75. Larry H.

I took a chance on this movie. It started at 12:10 pm at Loew's which is my ideal time to go to my Friday afternoon flick. 98 minutes is also viewer friendly. If you liked "Rambo" and/or "Terminator" then this is a must see. Kurt Russell is the star as Todd the Soldier that acts in almost robotic fashion to carry out his orders of war and destruction. He has been programmed to be a fighting machine since birth and he can kill you a hundred different ways - with his hands and feet. Not to mention some Terminator-type weapons. Kurt bulked up for this role and looks great a la Stallone muscles and veins sticking out with a glare of Swartzenegger. His total dialogue is 25-50 words. On the left side of Todd's face are tattoos: TODD O POS 3465. All of the soldiers have such markings. On the right side of his face beginning above his eye is an impressive scar that healed badly.

Mid 21st century and Todd is in his early 40's. Oops, now we have a new brand of soldier and Todd and his boys are "replaced by better soldiers." Todd was not only replaced, he was left for dead after Caine 607 beat the crap out of him. Caine 607 was the result of improved DNA engineering, so the older out-of-date soldiers were expendable. Appropriately, Todd and some other dead soldiers are dropped off in a space junkyard located on Arcadia Waste Disposal Planet. This planet was supposed to be uninhabited, but come to find out there were some refugees living a cave-like existence that had formed a "community" in order to survive. Loving-type people that did not trust the soldier who mysteriously shows up. These people have the normal emotions of love and fear, but Todd does not fit in because he only feels "fear and discipline." Ok, you get the idea - there is a big fight between the good guys and the bad guys and guess who wins! Interesting note: some people are now saying that my body favors Kurt Russell's.

We are both in our 40's; it could happen. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 86. Larry H.

July 15, 1998, at Loews Theatre #10 which is one of the small theatres,but "Something About Mary" is showing on two screens on this its firstofficial opening day. One of my law school buds was in town from SanAntonio so I let him go with me with the standard conditions that hecould not sit next to me. Rusty graduated #1 in our class at St. MarysLaw School so he quickly catches on and agreed to the terms; I evenshowed him my favorite parking place/pole. Someone had parked in myspot so I hope he doesn't think that I am not really successful andimportant.

This flick was the most fun I've had in a long time at a movie that is atotal piece of crap and offers little if any redeeming social valueespecially if you have lost the ability to think like a teenager.Fortunately, I have not lost that ability and am still honing some ofthe finer nuances of silliness and slapstick. Example: young man getshis unit caught in his zipper while in the bathroom at Mary's house onprom night and the big discussion is ".... is it his frank or beans..."that are in this precarious position. "... We have a bleeder here,"yells one of the paramedics. The story begins to crescendo early andreaches mediocrity and holds that level until the very end. Ben Stilleris the young man that has been in love with the dreamy Mary played byCameron Diaz since high school. Ted (Ben) hires a sleazy privateinvestigator to find Mary thirteen years after high school. The PI iswonderfully played my Matt Dillon who sports a mustache that would causeenvy by Schnieder on TV's "One Day At a Time." All three of the starsand supporting cast are charming and likeable and save this movie andmake it very funny - sometimes. But when its funny, its real funny.Ben Stiller is the son of George Constanza's TV father so he comes fromgood stock. Diaz and Dillon are real life lovers and they seemed to behaving fun in their roles. The stars career will get a boost from thisgig.

Love, shame, fun, pimples, hives, humiliation, sacrifice, lies,kindness, deciet, doublecross, and more love. One of the nice touches ofhumor and music was to have the ongoing-out-of-nowhere appearances of asinging guitar player and his spaced-out drummer a la Stubby Kaye andNat King Cole in "Water Hole No. 3" and "Cat Ballou." This movie hascult possibilities. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 87. Larry H. (DOB: July 16, 1950)

February 13, 1998, back at the Fountains in theatre #1 for "Sphere"starring Dustin Hoffman and directed by Barry Levinson. Aren't theseguys competing with themselves since "Wag the Dog" is still in widerelease? No, because this film is also a flop. However, it is aninteresting Sci Fi action film so the domestic gross will be $90-110million, then there is always video sales and rental plusinternational. 133 minutes which began at 11:55 am opening day. 35 in attendance. Larry H. was out of court mid morning, quick stop at the office, grab a dog, coke, and popcorn to insure a well-rounded meal and settle down in my rocking stadium seat.

This is a Michael Crichton book/film that is near impossible tocommunicate and depict on the big screen, but the big boys figured that if anybody could do it, Barry and Dustin could do it. Wrong underwater breath. Spacecraft, ULFs, and visual effects. Ninety five percent of the show is "underwater". Maybe that's why the story is all wet. Hoffman plays a psychologist who is teamed with Harry the mathematician, Ted the physicist, and Beth the biologist a la Crichton's first movie "Andromeda Strain". Sharon Stone is Beth and I want you people to quit calling her a "Blonde Bimbo" because she gave a solid performance and did not show any of her private parts. Samuel L. "Ted" Jackson is bald and believable. I like SLJ, but he and Dustin and Sharon cannot save this flick Now get out of here, you knucklehead. ULF's are Unknown

Life Forms. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 79. Larry H.

Its Saturday January 25, 1998, and Eric ( age 11, son of Larry H.) made me promise that when I got home from my shooting match that I would take him to see "Spice World" starring The Spice Girls. At least the boy has his priorities straight. So we pick up Andy, age 12, on our way to the 5:30 pm showing at AMC and the crowd is large and the average age is 10-12. We sit down front.

These girls are a hoot. Their real names are not important; their stage "nicknames" are Sporty, Ginger, Scary, Posh, and Baby. Go figure. They are cute, long legged, British, zero fat (ok maybe a little) young 20's, hip and hippy, five different colors of hair and personalities - one for everyone. The plot is about ...... oh never mind. The girls ride around London in their really happening mega bus doing cool stuff, acting silly, dancing, singing, and changing outfits and scenes and moods in a nano second. They have "fun talent" and are sexy and sassy in a "Girl Power" kinda way. The film does NOT involve sadness, blood, alcohol, drugs, cursing, nudity, men as love interest, smoking (only 2 cigarettes), meaness, death, or a meaningful storyline. And Eric, Andy and I enjoyed it.

During the movie I kept having flashbacks and thought at any moment the girls would break out and sing "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkeys" or "Its Been a Hard Day's Night". Fluff still sells.

Any movie that also stars George "Norm" Wendt and Richard "Rocky Horror Picture Show" O'brien can not be all bad. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 86. Larry H.

December 30, 1998, and I am attending my 65th movie of the year. My date is Monique H. She talks too much during movies and she makes me laugh, but I like holding hands with her so I guess sitting by her is not all bad. We met at AMC for the 5:10 pm showing of "Stepmom" and the crowd was around 125. We were in separate cars, but we rode together to Ninfas for our date dinner. We talked some about what I should do if I remarry and I get a step mom for Eric. I don't like that subject so I am not going to write about it.

The step mom is Isabel (Julia Roberts) who is living with and planning to marry Luke Harrison (Ed Harris) who was formerly married to Jackie (Susan Sarandon). A delicate triangle. Luke and Jackie have a twelve year old daughter, Anna, that is a major player in this movie and gives Jackie and Isabel a lot to fight about. They also have a son Ben, but since he is a male in this female dominated show, young Ben is not a major player and is used primarily to balance out the fam and to demonstrate that Anna has a sibling and is not an only child. This is a chick flick of sorts because my women friends seem to love the movie more than the males, but what can one expect when Julia and Susan are the stars and the executive producers. I call this kind of movie the "John Wayne Syndrome." The JWS was born in the '50s and '60's when the Duke treated women like a servant and men had all the good parts and guys like me grew up thinking the Duke was cool and therefore they were cool. And women now control enough money and have enough talent that pay back is in order. Ok, I'm down for that for about five more years, then let's call a truce and start over.

The movie credits five writers which is too many. The first hour or so of the movie was boring and uninteresting, but the last forty five minutes were wonderful. I suspect some of the five writers got canned by Julia and Susan about half way through the making of this movie. Good move girls. Rarely does a movie drag on this slowly for that long during the character development stage of a movie and make a recovery worthy of admiration. This movie did it.

Now please understand, I do not dis Susan Sarandon. We have been fast friends since she played Janet in "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and I am loyal to her. Besides, she is one of the great actresses of our time. Ms Roberts - take away her hair, lips, eyes, cheeks, skin, shapely figure, and perky gait, and you've got just another Hollywood actress. These two ladies were outstanding in this movie and their scenes together in the latter parts of the film should be studied by budding starlets if they want to learn the craft.

Roberts' character of Isabel is a happening 90's kind of lady. Isabel is the Annie Hall of today except she is cooler, hipper, and borderline emotionally healthy. Isabel was smart, talented, funny, sensitive, caring, successful, strong, loving, and beautiful. Not to mention real cool clothes. Hats, shoes with buckles, baggy pants, sweaters, shirts, and drove a Land Rover around Manhattan. And she could not cook worth spit. Take that John Wayne, you fat pig!

Man, did I just dis John Wayne? I did not mean it. Julia and Susan started this. Ed Harris' character is a wimp. He is forgiven. This movie, toward the end, will tug at your heart and make you laugh a little. But the show is about Isabel, Jackie, and Anna. I predict that more girls will be named Isabel in '99 than in '98. Happy New Year! Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 88. Larry H.

January 30, 1998 1:15 pm Friday afternoon and I am back on schedule."The Apostle" was written, produced and directed by Robert Duvall. And Bobby is "The Apostle" in the form of a small town/Texas evangelist that gets crossways with his wife, his church, and the law and has to leave his entire existence behind and start over, so he thinks. Sonny Dewey had been an evangelist since age twelve and his stuggling relationship with the Lord was all he ever knew and did. He had a good heart but a flawed brain; he was a sinner. "Lord, I love you, but I am mad at you" is a product of his intense desire to tell the story of Jesus. "Jesus, this is Sonny.....what do you want me to do?....Sonny leaves Texas and changes his name but not his passion for the Lord. "I started churches all over and I can start another one." But this time using the name "E. F." The Apostle in Bayou Boutte (Bootay) Louisiana.

E F The Apostle rebaptizes himself and starts his lifelong quest tobuild churches and serve the Lord in a style that is unique to Sonny/E F. Duvall has created a story with a preacher that is part saint and part sinner with a sincere desire to do the right thing, but the devil seems to have a grip on him when success comes knocking. Duvall's passion and physical performance is highlighted when actually preaching about Holy Ghost Power to his "bench jumpin" flock. They deeply love the Lord and The Apostle. Duvall's character cries tears of joy and sadness and dances in the aisle, but he is not a charlatan.

During the film I realized that I was watching greatness and thatDavall's development of Sonny and The Apostle is classic. Want to know how to act? Study Duvall. When E F was sad, I was sad; when E F was happy, I was happy; and when E F cried, I cried... more than once.

Farrah Fawcett as Sonny's wife turns in a good performance and stilllooks great even without a lot of glamour makeup and hair. Billy Bob Thornton is the local Louisiana redneck that challenges The Apostle and invokes the help of a bulldozer. The bulldozer scene is emotional and memorable between two actors that understand the power of the moment and the obligation not to goof it up by overacting. As I type this, I wish I could see the scene again now. "The Apostle" was showing in only one theatre in the entire Houston area - River Oaks Landmark on the edge of downtown Houston. The audience totalled about 110 and there were a lot of senior citizens in attendance and nobody went to the bathroom for over two hours; can happen during a great movie. I don't fully understand the marketing of one theatre, but it will be in the burbs soon. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 92. Larry H.

August 14, 1998. As I walked toward Loew's theatre from my anointed parking spot around 12:35 pm, the wind was howling and rain falling. Heat index must have been only in the mid 80's. Thought I was in the Twilight Zone. For you people that do not live in the greater Texas Gulf Coast area, please be reminded that its been hotter than ....Cooter Brown.

"The Avengers" is the big screen version of the old TV series. If you liked the TV show maybe you have a shot at liking this flick. I was not a fan of the TV series, but I thought I would take a chance on this movie because of its stars and the "pickins were slim" this Friday. Ralph Fiennes is the derby-wearing-umbrella-carrying secret agent John Steed and his secret agent partner is Dr. Emma Peel played by Uma "Pulp Fiction" Thurman. Both work for The Ministry which is some kind of top secret British intellectual group of spies that would rather drink tea than blow up bombs or shoot someone. What wussies! The code names for the top dogs are "Mother" who is a man and "Father" who is a woman - go figure. The bad guy, I think, was August Wynter (Sean Connery) who has a diabolical plot to control the weather. "Holy tornado, BATMAN!" Robin did not utter that line but I expected someone to blurt it out all the same. Lame. Shame.

I did not doze off until about 15 minutes into the film, so perhaps you should ask others about this spy thriller. While I was conscious, here are some of the lines that caught my fancy: "You don't have to call me Dr. Peel, you can just call me Mrs. Peel." " Its a simple matter of protons and ions." "A man with an umbrella is a man praying for rain."

This movie was kept under raps and not reviewed by your local newspaper critics because the studio was smart and did not want the word to get out and chance losing the audience that would naturally go see a film with Fiennes, Thurman, and Connery. Good move. But they did not fool Larry H. and now you have been warned.

This sad little tale of silliness was not funny or interesting or silly now that I think about it. It was Public Broadcasting System presents "Pink Panther... Batman... and The Three Stooges"

Highlights: 1. Uma's a fox 2. Movie is 91 minutes 3. I did not stay till the end.

Rock 'n Roll

Grade 65 SW. Larry H.

May 1, 1998. Happy Law Day! Earlier this Friday morning, Moniqueannounced that she would be going to see "City of Angels" at Loew's atthe first showing 11:50 am. I countered with my proposal that perhaps Iwould see her because I planned to see "The Big Hit" also at Loew's. Onthe way to Loew's for the 12:25 pm showing I was listening to some tunesand had cranked up my tape of Rockin Dopsie who we all know is the"Crown Prince of Zydeco." As I pulled in the theatre parking lot, Ibegin the search for my light pole. When I get closer I realize that myreserved spot is indeed vacant and waiting, but hold on, who has parkedon the opposite side of the light pole? Why - its Monique MangumHarrison. Last month we were married 17 years. Monique was in theatre#16 and I was in the next theatre #14. Her car was gone when Ireturned to my Jeep.

"The Big Hit" is big fun and big stupid. More guns, grenades, and shotsfired than your average goofy gansta movie. Mark Wahlberg plays Melvinthe reluctant hit man who is very good at what he does, but he is alsodistressed that he is over two weeks late in returning a rented video.The fact that he has a girlfriend and a fiancee does not faze him. Hisfiancee is Christina Applegate ("Married with Children") who is Jewishand her parents are Lanie Kazam and Elliot Gould. The parents areconcerned that Melvin is Catholic. Melvin is part of a "gang" ofhapless hitmen whose leader is Cisco played by Lou Diamond Phillips.Cisco has a Big Hit planned and as one might expect, things do not goaccordingly even though they employed a phone tracer buster-buster-buster. Slapstick murder. That's where we are folks. Thismovie is a combo of "Pulp Fiction" "Help" "Ghost" "Pritzi's Honor" and"Spice Girls". Rock 'n Roll

Grade 84. Larry H.

March 13, 1998, at theatre # 12 at the Fountains/Loew's. Start time:Noon. Got my favorite parking spot butted into the light pole near the back entrance. Crowd was about twelve total. Person that laughed the most and in loud obnoxous outbursts was Larry H.Written, directed, and produced by Joel and Ethan Coen. The Coen boys leave thier unique fingerprints on thier movies as does Tarrintino. Tlhis movie was very Fargoesque. One of the ongoing plots in this film involves a peculiar kindapping....hmmmm.... where have we seen that before?

But "Fargo" did not have Jeff Bridges playing Jeffery Lebowski as astuck in the 60's, dope-smoking, long haired, nonviolent, charming,unemployed bum who insisted on being called "The Dude" or just plain"Dude". Dude mostly "....drove around, bowled, and had an occassional acid flashback." Until he got involved with the Big Lebowski and some serious shenanigans that were way beyond Dude's everyday routine. Dude's main bud, Walter played by John Goodman, was a stuck-in-Viet Nam vet who had a slight problem with his temper that could get you shot with a semi-automatic at the bowling alley if you disagreed with his scoring interpretation. The third player/bowler, Donny, is the hapless Steve "got no money for dental care" Buscemi. Buscemi must have the goods on the Coen boys.

Bridges performance was typical of a seasoned actor. Very adequate, but nothing fancy. Goodman on the other hand was a mega-presence in every scene that he appeared in as the wound-too-tight Walter with the plan. The script is disjointed yet cohesive in a free association marijuana kinda way. Dude does have the manners to ask "... do you mind if I smoke a J?" Dude drinks a lot, too. Everyone in the film is terribly flawed and loveable which is one of the Coen trademarks.

Trophy wife, severed toe, chewed off ear, heart attack, F word 375times, kidnapping schemes and counter-schemes, tape decks, CredenceClearwater Revival, upper private parts, dream sequences periodically, bowling league semi-finals, $1 million, Nihilists and Nazis, porno, nymphomaniacs, a stranger (cowboy type - Sam Elliott), and a couple car wrecks and fires. This is a fun movie and accomplishes its goal: entertainment.

Rock 'n Roll. Note: Voting by Larry H's email list for Academy Awards next week.

Grade: 90 Larry H.

May 15, 1998, opening day for Robert Redford's "The Horse Whisperer"adapted from a best selling novel about a tragic accident that severelyinjures horse and rider. The horse is Pilgrim and the rider is twelveyear old Grace. Grace's mom is Kristin Scott Thomas (Annie) and herfather is " second banana" Sam Neill (Robert). They are a successfuleditor and lawyer in New York who are devoted to their only child andnot to each other. The child and horse need physical and emotionalhealing.

The scenes depicting the tragedy that sets up the entire film arespectacular. The first thirty minutes of the film are gripping. Out ofdesperation and parental frustration, Annie takes the bold step to helpher daughter and Pilgrim recover by contacting the guru of horses "TheHorse Whisperer" who owns a cattle ranch with his brother Frank inMontana. So we're off to Montana to see if Robert Redford can solve allthe problems. Redford is 61. His hair is only 30.

This story is about horses and humans. And tears, big skies, tallgrass, family, snow- capped mountains, anger, sadness, marriage,disappointment, patience, failures, and ...love....forbidden love. Annie tries to act like she has no plans tofall in love with Redford's Tom Booker, but she is no match for thebeautiful scenery and his golden hair.Ok, so Redford has other attributes, but its the hair that still causeswomen to swoon.

There are many touching and tender moments. Redford the director allowsthe scene and the visuals to tell the story and minimizes the dialogue.Give him high marks for skill and courage in his directing. Editing andcinematography are noteworthy.

Great lines about/by The Horse Whisperer: "I help horses with peopleproblems." "A horse whisperer sees into the creature's soul." "He hasa gift from heaven above."

The beginning and ending of the film are emotionally delightful and gutwrenching. The film is 169 minutes but does not seem to be too longgiven the complicated characters.I am shouting about "The Horse Whisperer". Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 89. Larry H.
Note: Long live "Yada, Yada, Yada...."

March 27, 1998. Theatre #4 at AMC First Colony. Less than ten peoplein attendance for the 1:10 pm showing of yet another twist of tales ofKing Louis XIV of France and none other than the original "One for alland all for one" boys - The Three Musketeers. They could stab you witha sword quicker than rain. Leo I am going to make at least 15 millionbucks on my next film DiCaprio was the King and the dual part of EvilTwin or is it the other way around? Larry H. thinks he can get Leo $18million on his next flick and I only want my usual 10%. Someone pleaseget the word to Leo - I think I can help the boy, and you know me,always trying to help others.

The Three Muskers were ably played by the wonderful actors: JeremyIrons (Aramis), John Malkovich (Athos), and Gerard Depardieu (Porthos).Their antagonist is D'Artagnan superbly performed by Gabriel Byrne asthe head of the King's version of the Secret Service. Randall Wallacewrote, directed and co-produced this picture and will take some heatbecause we are familiar with the basic story and the middle third isslow, but it will make a ton of money and I am glad I saw it. That iron mask is some really bad duty, though. I do not want any part of an iron mask. Those people could be cruel.

Highlights: Malkovich's anger and intensity, Depardieu's buttocks andlegendary nose, Irons' voice of reason but especially his Hall of Famevoice, Byrne's/D'Artagnan honor and sense of duty, DiCaprio's wideranging and dreamy looks, great costumes, beautiful set designs andmusic, an Alamo finale with a touch of "Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid"with the love of a father that brought me to tears and emotion so deepthat my throat was hurting. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 89. Larry H.

Note: Tell us what the word is, Larry H.
"Grease" is the word!

The first 15-20 minutes of the movie were so exciting and fun that I got chills and had an almost uncontrollable urge to stand up in my seat and scream "Go Zorro - you the Man". The opening scene that I refer to is when Anthony Hopkins' Zorro is young in 1821 when the Spanish and Mexicans are pushing and shoving for control of California and the sword is mightier than ..... anything anybody's got if his name ain't Zorro. The Z Man can kill and thwart many men and soldiers in an instant; chandeliers fall, walls fall, statues fall, all in the nick of time to save Zorro from being trapped by far superior numbers. But Zorro is clever, quick and resourceful with using his surroundings as well as his sword to beat the Spanish and save the peasants who desperately need a hero. He has the talent and tricks of Tarzan AND Batman.

Fast forward 20 years, old Zorro has been in jail. His wife has been murdered and the local villain Governor/Don Raphael has stolen his daughter Elena. Man, we told you not to tug on Zorro's sword - now didn't we. But nooooo. You just had to keep jerking the peasants and up pops a new and younger candidate to be Zorro. So Don Diego (Hopkins) is old, but he trains Antonio Banderas who is a quick learner in this Zorro stuff albeit Banderas is a bit foolish and rambunctious. This new Zorro has a sense of humor that must have been indicative of that crazy generation that was coming of age in circa 1841. The first thing the young Zorro does is steal a horse - a big black steed worthy of his outfit (black hat, shirt, pants, and mask) and the horse the original Z Man had named Tornado.

This film could have been named "Son of Zorro....Zorro II.....Zorro Rides Again.... The Return of Zorro... " but Producer Spielberg and team chose the classier title and to emphasize the passing of the baton.... I mean mask. Banderas and Hopkins were wonderful and Catherine Zeta-Jones as Elena not only wins the beautiful skin contest, but she brings much passion and depth to a character that could have been easily overshadowed by the sword-wielding men. The Bad Guys are aptly portrayed and there is even a blond Captain named "Harrison Love." Now there's a name for a Zorro flick. Everyone except Captain Love has black hair and olive complexion. You people from Venus will like Banderas, oh duh, and Mr. Hopkins delivers his usual intensity, intellect, and intimidation factor. All the local big landowners/dictators were affectionately referred to as "Don". From now on... I want to be called "Don Larry H." Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 89. Don Larry H.

Friday July 31, 1998 at Loew's Theatres at the Fountains. Well, at least its Friday and I am back on my regular schedule which is something to be thankful for because the movie was a big disappointment. Samuel L. Jackson and Kevin Spacey are great actors but cannot save a poorly written script and a stupid, predictable plot. SLJ is Danny Roman, an expert hostage negotiator, who is framed for murder by some crooked cops so Lt. Roman turns the tables and takes some hostages of his own so he can clear his good name and solve the murder mystery. The only mystery involving this flick was whether I would stay until the end of this 132-minute-big-budget flop. Kevin comes on the scene to "negotiate with the negotiator" and gets enmeshed in this silliness which reaches an unbelievable conclusion, but I was not offended because I did not care. Yes, the God Bomb Theory did kick in.

Good cops, bad cops, bombs, helicopters, fires, loud sounds, and a lot cool guns. I did not like this movie and that's nonnegotiable. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 72. Larry H.

Awaken this morning with sunshine through the window at 6:15am. I don'tnormally get up at 6:15am, but I love an early morning sun. So Istarted plotting before even getting out of bed to go to the show onthis fine Tuesday because I will be travelling to San Antonio on Fridayfor a big pistol match and will be unable to attend my assigned Fridayafternoon movie. I know God wants me to go to a movie this week so Ibetter get moving. We go to Daylight Savings Time Sunday morning sothis week is maximum for early morning sunrises. I enjoy these sunrisesa bunch. Loew's Theatre #18 @ 1:15pm. No problem getting my parkingspot on Tuesdays. Number of clouds in the sky? None. Low 70's andslight wind. Excellent weather for a movie - my favorite inside sport.Number of folks in attendance? Five.

The Newton Boys are from Uvalde, Texas. They have the mentality of acowboy from the Hill Country and the accent to back it up. I know thatkind of White Trash. Opening scene is 1919 and we go along for a ridewith the four Newton Brothers on a bank robbing rampage for the nextfive years. They rob many banks, but do so without trying to hurtanyone. "Just one thief stealing from another thief....why hell, boys,those banks aint out no money.... they got insurance." The first halfof the picture, when character development is vital, was weak andborderline corny; but the second half saves the story and increases theaction level and excitement to a tolerable level. I added extra pointsto this movie's grade because the men's and women's hats were awesome.Those folks in the Roaring Twenties knew how to style it. And theNewtons knew how to steal it.

The Newton Boys were Willis (Mathew McConaughey), Jess (Ethan Hawke),Dock (Vincent D'Onofrio), and Joe (Skeet Ulrich) and the fifth wheelwas played by Dwight Yoakam, not a Newton but needed for his safeblowing up abilities. All roles were adequate in this ratherunremarkable yet quaint flick. Traces of "Bonnie and Clyde" and "TheSting" cropped up in my mind as the plot progressed and we pulled forthe "bad guys" as though they were "good guys".

In a courtroom scene, the prosecuting attorney is played by Daniel T.Kamin who is a lawyer in real life but primarily earns his living as anactor these days and went to law school with a very famous person -Larry H. I don't make this stuff up. I just go to the show and reportwhat I see. The judge is played by former Appellate Judge Ross Searswho lives in Fort Bend County and is a longtime member of my church -Christ United Methodist in First Colony. Now you tell me America is nota great place! Rock 'n Roll

Grade 80. Larry H.

I had been to a 12:00 pm appointment with my gunsmith (Briley Mfg/Claudio Salassa) to get my pistol tuned up for a match in Somerville on Sunday when I swung by the Fountains Loew's Theatres just in time to catch the 1:00 pm showing on opening day of "The Siege." I had to see this flick because I had to know if New York survived yet another catastrophe - what with Godzilla hitting them earlier in the year and all. We all know from the TV ads that Brooklyn is in for some bad times when allegedly Arab Terrorists set off a series of bombs starting with a bus and climaxing with the death of hundreds including the rich and famous. Uh oh, now they have gone and done it. Killing the ordinary bus citizens is manageable, but these wackos went too far so the President and Washington folks declare Marshall Law and deploy troops into the city to get things under control because these Arabs ...." are threatening our way of life."

The Army troops are commanded by Bruce Willis/ Gen William Devereaux (same name as the bad guy in "Silver Streak" but no relation) and the good general is wound a little tight and lacks certain sensitivities to be running such an operation. He took a page out of World War II history books and rounded up all the young male Arabs and "herded" them into football field cages with barbed wire. Meanwhile, the good guy is FBI agent Anthony "Hub" Hubbard who tries to do the right thing and catch the bad-guy terrorists within the restraints of the US Constitution. Then we have a CIA spook that has a couple of names - Elise and Sharon - depending on the situation who is played by Annette Bening. Elise/Sharon gives new meaning to "sleeping with the enemy." Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do for her country! These three get entangled and so does the Army, FBI, and CIA. The best character was played by Hub's partner Frank (Tony Shalhoub) who is Lebanese and has his own ethnic problems with the Army. But at least Frank had a family and a sense of humor which more than I can say for the three stars in this movie. Character development weak.

The story started out suspenseful and action-packed and peaked midway and coasted home with a documentary mentality. I grade the first half of this film 88 and the second half 78. You do the math. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 83. Larry H.

June 5, 1998, theatre #13 at AMC First Colony. "She had blond hair,blue eyes, and still perky whilst the sky was warm and smokey." Sorry,that's not a movie, that's my wife and today's weather. Today's moviewas "The Truman Show" which stars Jim Carrey as Truman Burbank theinsurance salesman that was adopted at birth by a corporation and filmed24 hours a day 365 days a year and broadcast worldwide. Truman's lifeis the ultimate soap opera except the star does not know he is thestar. The film begins onDay 10,909 of Truman's life so the TV audience is quite familiar withTruman's life and personality as manipulated and scripted by "Christof"the creator and director of the Truman Show. Ed Harris as Chistof isthe ultimate manipulator and plays the part of the antagonist withoutoffending the viewer of the movie because we are too busy trying todecipher his unholy mix of uncaring and compassion conflicts.

The emotional connection with Truman is almost instant and does not letup throughout the movie. Even though Truman's life is contolled on theworld's largest soundstage and filmed by approximately 5,000 cameras, wenever forget that he is one of us - meaning he is a human with the needfor love and acceptance and is challenged by fear. The show is "notfake, just controlled" is the way its presented so the movie's TVaudience will not feel too badly about thier 30-year participation inthis deceitful abduction of Truman's life. All of the characters on the"The Truman Show" are "in on it" so the show can continue as long as theruse will last and the TV audience's voyeurism and soap opera mentaliyis fed. But "how will it end?" and what about Truman the Human?

Following Truman's thought process and the clues that we learn aboutwith him further set us up to connect with him when we realize that heis the "classice" example of the human experience and need for freedom.The basis to the movie is Truman's stiving to be free and his stuggle tofind real love. The soundstage fantasyland will not cut it.

Jim Carrey has sealed his place as a superstar actor and not just abaffoon being "Dumb and Dumber". Not that there's anything wrong withthat. Carrey will not recieve a nomination for his performance becauseof the Burt Reynolds syndrome. Too popular.However, Robin Williams was able to break out of the BR syndrome but ittook years and Carrey will have to have several more quality hits before"they" will reward him. But Larry H. knows that Carrey turned in anomination type performance. On the other hand, the screenplay byAndrew Niccol will almost certainly recieve a nomination fororiginality and freshness. Rod Serling only wishes he had thought ofthis one. Director Peter Weir and Ed Harris have a shot at acclaim.This is a great movie that will become a classic because we are suckersfor the human emotions and Truman is like most folks - " I just want tobe me." Rock 'n Roll

Grade 93. Larry H.

November 20, 1998. So what's the big deal about "The Waterboy" that its already grossed over $24 million in only its second week? I gotta know. We need to laugh and goofy sells! Oh, now I get it. Adam Sandler is The Waterboy who is a little dimwitted and lacks some social skills, but serves a mean cup of water. Bobby Boucher (Boo-shay) takes his job as "water distribution engineer" very seriously even at the tender age of 31, but all the college football players in Louisiana use Bobby for football fodder and the usual humiliation. That's ok though because part of the shtick of this movie is the age-old story that the downtrodden will rise up and "open a can of whip ass" on all the jerks that deserve such treatment but we the viewer do not have what it takes to deliver. Bobby does. In spite of his mama played by Kathy Bates who is ideal for the overbearing and fiercely protective Mama Boucher. Mama serves snake and alligator as regular meals in her Louisiana swamp shack and believes Bobby's girlfriend Vicki Vallencourt (Fairuza Balk) is "...the devil and ...so was Benjamin Franklin." Mama also has a mule living in her house named Steve, and tells Bobby to come to her room before he goes to bed "...so I can brush your hair." Bobby's in a mess.

But wait, he and the mentally deranged Coach Klein (Henry "The Fonz" Winkler) discover that if Bobby gets angry at some of the people that have treated him badly in the past and envisions them as opposing football players he then becomes Dick Butkus-like and can rip their heads off and help the 0-40 football team win enough games to make it to the Bourbon Bowl at the end of the season. Makes perfect sense: 31 year old waterboy saves football season. Come on folks - play along.

I attended this movie by myself. No I mean it. No one else was in the theatre. It was very freeing. I did some things. Try it sometime.

The reason Bobby was a waterboy as his life's quest is also very logical. His mother told him that his father had gone to the Sahara Desert and died of dehydration, but for a drink of water. Sometimes Bobby likes to call it H2O. Despised Gatorade. Even checked the pH in the water before allowing the players to drink it and had categories: Rain Water, Spring Water, and Distilled Water. He was a darn good waterboy.

His girlfriend Vicki Vallencourt had a couple of tattoos and recently gotten out of prison, and her picture is in the latest dictionary next to "Skank." Ms. Balk plays beautifully next to the hapless Bobby who thinks he is a virgo. Sandler and Tim Herlihy co-wrote this film and they know how to push an audience without going too far and lace the lovable story with some knee-slappers. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 84. Larry H.

June 20, 1998, at Theatre #18 (capacity 391) at Loew's at TheFountains. Could not go to my regularly scheduled Friday afternoonflick because Eric H. was flying in from his 12-day European tour so Ichecked the paper for convenient showtimes on Saturday and betweenLoew's and AMC there were only 26 choices for "X-Files". So 12:05 pmwas ok and I even got my appointed parking spot near the light pole inthe rear.

"The X-Files: Fight the Future" is the big screen version of thepopular, cult-status TV series and the brainchild of Chris Carter whoproduced and co-wrote the screenplay.Carter is the primary force of "X-Files" and deservedly so because hisimagination rivals Jules Vern and Michael Chrichton. The X-philes willfeel at home because the TV characters and standard plot of the weirdand wacky keep the fight for Truth going and will not disappoint itsloyal fans. David Duchovny is Special FBI Agent Fox Mulder and GillianAnderson is his partner Special Agent Dana Scully. Mulder isunderstated with a wry humor and a stone face that looks just like hispanic face. Scully is a MD which helps with plot explanation and servesas the anchor for Mulder who is also known as "Spooky" because the boyhas proffered his fair share of conspiracy theories and alien tales.His sister was snatched by aliens when he was a child. And that's theTruth.

The story begins in North Texas 35,000 BC with cavemen and a black oozesubstance and some sort of monster/thing that kills or does something.OK, now lets get it on and get to the bottom of this. Agent Mulder andScully are in Dallas during present time when an office building isblown up (as a cover-up?) and we are off to the races in a fast-pacedsuspenseful plot that takes us all over the world and involves virus,anti-virus, international alliance conspirators, extra-terrestrialbeings, Martin Landau playing Mr. Conspiracy Theory but perhaps he isjust a caring OB/GYN who knows too much and "They" want to shut him up,and the US government exerting its secret power through the little knownFederal Emergency Management Agency. Its the agency (FEMA) that helpsfolks after a big disaster such as mass flooding, hurricanes, and blackvirus ooze.

Let's look at this movie by the numbers:

15,000 2 1,000's 4 0 110

probable folks involved worldwide in various conspiracies movie stars that have a bright future and 2-3 sequels infected honey bees that threaten the world tender moments between Scully and Mulder, but do theykiss? TV episodes of "The X-Files" seen by Larry H. Heat index outside the theatre

probable folks involved worldwide in various conspiracies
movie stars that have a bright future and 2-3 sequels
infected honey bees that threaten the world
tender moments between Scully and Mulder, but do theykiss?
TV episodes of "The X-Files" seen by Larry H.
Heat index outside the theatre

The picture was 120 minutes and I would trim about 15-20 minutes eventhough the ending is worth the wait. Mulder and Scully are in desperateneed of a fashion coordinator; so much so that a young boy did notbelieve they were FBI agents because they looked "... like door to doorsalesman". Scully wears high heeled combat shoes and a tailored suitthat accents her model-thin waste and Mulder's hair is always out ofplace and his tie is loose. They are perfect. The film is a big budgetversion of a TV show. Oh, duh. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 82. Larry H.

March 6, 1998. Back at Theatre #11 at AMC First Colony Sugar Land, TX aka "Home of Tara Lapinski" a close personal friend of Larry H. I am like an older brother to her.

Was having difficulty choosing between "U S Marshalls" starring TommyLee Jones and "The Big Lebowski" with Bridges/Goodman. So I decided to see "Twilight". Good move on my part. To refer to "Twilight's" cast as "all star" is an understatement. Paul "Cool Hand Luke" Newman, Susan "Dammit Janet" Sarandon, Gene "Little Bill" Hackman, Stockard "Rizzo" Channing, and James "Maverick" Garner. Yeah but can they act if you put them all in the same movie. Darn tootin. If these old warhorses were playing for the Rockets, we could get in the NBA Finals.

OK, so the acting was a delight - the story was trite and slow. But the mood and the characters of this dramatic mystery were entertaining because Newman's semi-retired private eye charater of "Harry" was a cross between Colombo and Sam Spade with a twist of The Thin Man. Director Robert Benton did the best he could with a weak script. The use of shadows and indirect lighting was fun and probably would have been awesome in black and white, but that's against the rules. Sarandon and Hackman are has/been actors that have been married for about 20 years with a questionable past but have a strange and wonderful love for each other. Silly line said to Channing the Lt. Cop Lady by Harry who is in deep doo but is close to solving the mystery: ".... just give me 24 more hours and I can square this whole thing..." The humor is subtle. Much of the movie and most of the characters are convinced that Harry has met with an unfortunate accident a couple of years ago down in Mexico and got his "pecker" shot off. I will not tell you if Paul's Pecker is in one piece. The film was only 94 minutes which is a plus. Love, murder, mystery, more murders, Hollywood secrets and blackmail, blood, old friends. To insure that the three main characters are appropriately emeshed, Harry the washed- up private dick (no pun intended) lives over the garage at the mansion of the washed-up actors a la Kato. This is the most fun I've ever had at a B movie plot becauseGood Acting wins games. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 86. Larry H.

Note: Oscars will be awarded March 23rd and you people on the email list will be involved in the First Annual Larry H. semi-scientific poll to determine the real Oscar winners. Stay tuned.

April 23, 1998, Theatre #7 AMC First Colony Sugar Land, TX.Approximately 2:00pm.If you liked Tommy Lee Jones' character Sam Gerard in "The Fugitive" thenthe chances are you will like this picture because Sam and his band ofMOD Squadders return to chase a crafty Wesley Snipes who is elusive andjust maybe he is as innocent as Dr. Richard Kimble. Snipes is not anytrickier than Dr. Kimble but he has better training and guns.

Tommy Lee continues his pursuit of the bad guy without regard for guiltor innocence because we all know he "...does not care". And Tommy Leeis always ahead of everyone in figuring out the next move and barkingorders to the young marshalls who hang on his every word. All the goodguys carry Glocks and are not scared to shoot. Robert Downey Jr isforced on Gerard's team and appears to be trying to put people in jailwhich is certainly a character stretch for the boy. TLJ offers hislittle wisecracks throughout which makes him beloved and revered as thegreat Gerard that always gets his man. The chase is fun and suspensefulas much as a 1990's action-shoot-em-up film can be. This show saved myday - literally. See "Wild Things" for further explanation. Rock 'nRock.

Grade 88. Larry H

I confess that I have done a very bad thing by seeing "Very Bad Things." At least I only did one bad thing. There are so many people dying and blood flowing in this movie that a program to keep up with who will be the next to die and bleed would be helpful. If ever there was a movie that deserved to be termed "black comedy," this is it. The weather was cold and rainy and the wind chill must have been near zero - in Sugar Land - not the movie (ok, I am exaggerating but "really nasty" is accurate). I needed an inside sport and it was Friday afternoon and I just could not make myself go to "Jack Frost" and see Michael Keaton come back as a snowman even though I am sure that it was based on a true story.

Five men on a bachelor party trip to Las Vegas and da boys do some really evil stuff. Alcohol, drugs, and sex were bad enough until the murdering and dismembering kicked in. So where's the humor? Black, huh? So these five totally immature nut-burgers curse and scream at each other and then they get a grip on the situation and turn on each other which is certainly understandable. Especially since they are the most despicable humans I've had the pleasure to watch in a long time. Worse than "Pulp Fiction" and "Boogie Nights" combined. Is that possible? Carmen Diaz and Christian Slater are the smart, self absorbed killers and they are the protagonists.

I was overwhelmed during much of this movie and was haunted by the looming task of writing this review without the required insight to capture the essence of the carnage and decadence. I know I am a professional movie-goer, but sometimes even the pros are skunked. Another confession: toward the end of the movie, I laughed several times. Loudly. Rock 'n Roll.

Grade NR. Larry H

It's Thursday around 1:00pm and I have been pestering Margaret the Legal Assistant and she has threatened me with a charge of "Obnoxous Boss" so when I mention that maybe I should go to the show, she says: "go and good riddance". Seems fair to me. I chose to see "Wild Things" because Kevin Bacon is in it and it started at 1:05pm. I'm out of here. No lunch, but I catch a bag of popcorn and a Sprite less 25 cents at AMC because I have a "Movie Watcher" card. Oh, boy.

"Wild Things" are also stars Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell ( "Scream 2")and Denise Richards ("Stormship Troopers"). Dillon plays a schoolguidance counselor that is entrapped apparently by these two bimbos on a trumped-up charge of rape. I say "apparently" because I walked outafter I finished my popcorn. If you are 16 and need to see some skin,then I highly reccommend this film. Otherwise, pass.

So about the time I know I am leaving and popcorn is running low, Ithink I remember that "U S Marshalls" is starting at 1:50pm also atAMC. So I have some time to kill so I tell the ticket clerk that I didnot like "Wild Things" but I do not want my money back, I just wantanother chance at a good movie. "Hey, Dude, give me that list of movies over there and I'll decide where I'm going." Yep, USM is starting in about 20 minutes. I call Margaret to tell her that I "walked" the movie and she is none too happy about the thought of me coming back to the office. Not to worry. On the way to theatre #7 I stop off at theatre #8 and watch Olivia Newton-John sing "Hopelessly Devoted to You". The review of "U S Marshalls" to follow shortly. Rock 'n Roll

Grade 65 W Larry H.

December 18, 1998. Loew's # 18. Get ready for the Christmas season of movies. This is a cutsie email-romance love story between Tom Hanks (NY152) and Meg Ryan (Shopgirl) directed by Nora Ephron. Formula movie well done. Will make a lot of money. Tom's Barnes and Noble type bookstore vs. Meg's bookstore 'round the corner. How sweet. Internet rules! Larry H. in heap big hurry. Popcorn good; hot dog cause gas.
Rock 'n Roll.

Grade 84. Larry H.