This movie is very funny.  And crass and corny, but always just a few lines from a humorous payoff if you count drug and bathroom humor.  And who among us does not?  Jonah Hill plays Schmidt the underachieving young cop who is teamed with the good-looking, dimwitted Jenko (Channing Tatum).

Both of these well-known up-and-coming actors have given their careers a huge boost by starring in this modern day Bud Abbott and Lou Costello-like movie.  Ok, it’s not anything even close to being a Bud and Lou movie but it’s two guys willing to make fun of themselves and take enormous chances in this take-off of the old TV series “21 Jump Street” about two rookie cops that go undercover to catch the drug dealers at the local high school.

Jenko was one of the popular kids and had little to do with the nerdy Schmidt when they attended high school together, a mere seven years before becoming cops.  So these 2005 high school graduates go to the local police academy as trainees and bond out of mutual needs and work well as a terribly flawed team.  The first 20 minutes of this flick, which is devoted to introducing the two characters, is screamingly funny.  It was a hoot and I guffawed often; I like to guffaw and don’t mind being “that guy” who makes a fool of himself in the theatre.  Thanks Jonah Hill.  And Channing Tatum.  Hill is really 28 and Tatum is almost 33.  Can they play high school seniors?  Yes, and that’s a big part of the fun. 

These two goofy cops have a serious in-your-face Captain (Ice Cube) who screams and curses at the boys, and absolutely contributes to the farce.  Cube steals the show when he‘s on screen, and I only wish he had a bigger part.  He probably will have a more significant part in the sequel when the boys go undercover in college.  Just going by saying. 

I’m a big fan of Jonah Hill and his understated persona that is a great fit for partner comedy.  And he helped Brad Pitt get a nomination for Best Actor in “Moneyball” while he garnered a surprising nomination for Best Supporting Actor.  Hill is also credited with “Story by” with screenwriter Michael Bacall for this movie as well as being one of the producers.  That’s a lot of success for young Hill; I bet he’s working on writing a script for himself as we speak.  I know we are having beautiful weather, but this movie is worth 109 minutes of darkness and a big screen.  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 89.  Larry H.     Only 5 days until “The Hunger Games”    

I enjoyed this movie, but I knew I would.  I have great respect for the business end of the military M-16 rifle and its popular A4 version used by The SEALs.  The scopes appeared to be primarily the EOtech 553 Holographic.  If you don’t know or care about rifles and such, then this movie might be a stretch for you.  On the other hand, you might like this movie if you are patriotic and admire the heroic work of our toughest and most highly trained soldiers in the USA military – The Navy SEALs.

And now some of you are asking “…aren’t they the guys that killed Osama bin Laden?”  And the answer is “yes.”  However, the Navy SEALs have been the baddest of the bad for decades.  They take on the most dangerous missions and most of the time it is done in secret.  This movie claims that the storyline is based on real acts of valor. 

The stars of the show are active-duty SEALs with live bullets and accurate reenactments.   Many of the scenes are shot from the perspective of the SEAL who is shooting or aiming his rifle and the audience can see through the scope and down the barrel.  The action is fast-paced and bloody.  War is not pretty or nice.

The first battle begins with a small special ops squad attempting to extract a female CIA agent who has been abducted and being tortured.  This part of the story spills into the Russian mafia and Jihadists who are trying to infiltrate the United States through Mexico. 

Some will see this movie as propaganda.  If you suspect you might have those feelings, stay at home.  This movie is all about the courage and danger associated with being a Navy SEAL who is on the front lines of defending this county.  I’m on their side and I left the theatre in a reverent mood because I’d just witnessed realistic stories of heroism and death.    

My Friday afternoon crowd at First Colony AMC was in excess of 100, so I predict that “Act of Valor” will do well at the box office.  The movie was co-directed by Mike McCoy and Scott Waugh; both have experience in directing and producing films about the military.  This is not a classically great movie, but for a February flick about bombs and bad guys, it’s pretty good and an appropriate prelude to the Oscars.   Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 89.  Larry H.      sugarlaw@larryharrison.com">sugarlaw@larryharrison.com    Editor’s Note:  Larry H. is planning to apply to join the Navy SEALs but fears that he is 37 maybe 38 years late.   And then there’s the leg, heart, and shoulder problems.  Do  you believe in miracles? 

“Albert Nobbs” - originally viewed and comments written 11-3-11.  (Before Oscar nominations were announced.  Note the predictions of Larry H. as early as November; both Glenn Close and Janet McTeer were nominated for an Oscar for their roles.)

The setting is late 19^th century Ireland when women are second class citizens and not allowed to have the best paying jobs.  Albert Nobbs, played by Glenn Close, who we know to be a woman, decides to hide her gender and work as a male waiter in a fancy hotel in order to have a job that pays well.  Albert’s goal and dream is to save enough money to buy a shop and become a tobacconists.

This is a fabulously fascinating film and will garner many nominations including the sixth nomination for Ms. Close for Best Actress.  Close is also credited as co-writer and producer; this is her film and she will be richly rewarded.  The other obvious awards will go to costumes, editing, and screenplay.  And if I am in charge, Janet McTeer will be nominated for Best Supporting Actress for her portrayal of Hubert.

Mia Wasikowska, age 22, plays opposite Close’s Albert with some electric scenes.  When you see this picture, and you will sooner or later, please remember that Close is 63 when she kisses the 22 year-old Wasikowska; that is deserving of an Oscar in itself.  Close’s performance is memorable and magnificent because she is believable without overplaying her Albert.  Her biggest sin is that she looks strikingly like a pale, closely-shaved Robin Williams.  She reminded me so much of Williams that I found it distracting.  Director Rodrigo Garcia should have altered Albert’s appearance so as not to shadow the well-known Williams.

But that is about the only black mark on Garcia who directed a delightfully intriguing movie that will become a classic.  This is movie-making at its best.

The script was stupendous:  “…he’s such a kind little man….”  “…you are the strangest man I ever met…”  “…are you asking to walk out with me…” and “…you don’t have to be anyone but who you are…”  I’m writing this piece the morning after seeing this movie at a screening the night before at  the Studio Movie Grill at Town and County and I realize that I just witnessed greatness.  This is not a movie for the mall, but it is a movie for the ages.

Treat yourself and go see Glenn Close who tells Hubert that “…my name is Albert…but what is  your real name?...Albert.”  I suppose a woman named Glenn should know something about a woman named Albert.  Rock ‘n Roll.

This is not one of the best pieces of “American Pie.” But it is solidly canonical; the boys are back and they are as crude and bawdy as ever and their stupid, sexy girlfriends and wives are back to party with these overgrown, under-serviced frat-boy wannabes. There is a certain charm and allure to this “Reunion.” if you liked any of the previous American Pies or Wedding that began in 1999 when the kids were just graduating from East Great Falls High School in Michigan, then you might like this latest episode.

The script is not worthy of a feature film, but rather 22 minutes of weekly episode on the E Network. But who am I to complain; I’ve seen all four of (is that all there is? Seems like more) American Pie movies and I came back for more and did not walk out. And if there is another American Pie, I’ll go again. Car wreck comes to mind; just can’t look away and have to stare at it.

Perhaps I’m more like these senseless thirty year olds that have returned to East Great Falls for a 13^th class reunion than I care to admit. Hey, wait a minute. I really want to be 30 again and have the energy to act a fool and get liquored up and jump off the roof. Hey wait another minute; I don’t want to do that. But I don’t mind watching these chumps share their imperfect lives for 153 minutes. Ok, maybe 23 minutes.

Jason Biggs as Jim Levenstein and Seann William Scott as Steve Stifler are back as the stars and they have matured enough to also Executive Produce this newest piece of the franchise that will probably make some serious money. Speaking of names; Adam Herz created these characters circa 1997 after he graduated from University of Michigan and East Great Falls High School. The name “Steve Stifler” is Herz’ creation and for that alone he will be immortal.

I chuckled a few times and never was seriously bored, but this is not a good movie and my crowd did not guffaw; not once, and there were some obnoxious teenagers in attendance. Say no more. Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 79. Larry H.

I just saw a “94” movie and that makes me very happy on this beautiful spring Saturday afternoon.  I had high hopes for this film because Richard Linklater was the director and co-writer and Jack “Nacho Libre” Black plays the assistant funeral director of a small East Texas town (Carthage) who befriends a rich, mean widow (Shirley McClaine) who turns up dead.

Been a big fan of LInklater since he helped the independent movie explosion take root in the early 1990’s with his direction and script of “Slacker.”  He was born in Houston, raised in Huntsville, and does much of his business in Austin so he fully understands the country subtleties and deadpan humor of our East Texas friends.  This film involves a murder of an old lady, but it’s screamingly funny.  I am not exaggerating; at times I was “screaming” with laughter, but would quickly stop my hilarity so I would not miss the next line.  Jack Black’s performance is his best ever!  His understated portrayal of Bernie Tiede was exquisite and hopefully will earn him a nomination. 

Much of the story is told by random “interviews” of the local town folk who knew and loved Bernie the Assistant Funeral Director because our hero was “…such a sweet guy, sang in the church choir…and could make you look just right… and would add some flowers in your hands…” as you laid peacefully in the casket.   Linklater’s choices of town folk was perfect; their dialogue, hair, and costumes were genius. 

The film is based on a “Texas Monthly” article by Skip Hollandsworth who is also credited as co-screenwriter.   I can imagine Skip and Richard sitting in an Austin bar on Sixth Street discussing the idea of making the story into a movie and after a few shots “…the magic erupted.”  This is a very special movie because its charm and amusement blend magnificently into a delightful story that demonstrates the best in movie-making.  This kind of chemistry on the big screen is rare.  I loved every character and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of the film.  The set designs and editing are splendid.

Matthew McConaughey as the local District Attorney is so spot-on that he even gets away with wiping his mouth with his tie.  I guess a lot of that credit should also go to Linklater when a hunky Hollywood star looks great using his tie as a napkin.  We know McConaughey is a Texas boy, too, so his accent is not much of a stretch, but his portrayal of an East Texas Good Ole Boy reminded me of a cross between Gregory Peck, Charles Durning, and Burt Reynolds.   Worthy of a nomination?  Heck yes, but Best Supporting Actor category is wildly unpredictable but Mc is on my short list.  Linklater and Hollandsworth should also rent their tuxes for the award shows. 

Linklater!  We’re not worthy!  Stop whatever it is you’re doing and go see this masterpiece.   Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 94.  Larry H.    

This is a Roman Polanski Film starring four of the most accomplished stars of Hollywood if you count box office success and Oscars.  The setting is present-day Manhattan and almost all of the scenes are in a couples’ home.  The opening scene on a playground is without sound, but we learn that an eleven year old boy hits another young boy with a stick which causes bruising, swelling, and the loss of two teeth.  (Trivia:  the boy with the stick is Elvis Polanski, the son of Roman and Polanski himself has a Hitchcockian cameo as the neighbor looking out his door.)

The balance of the movie is about the interaction between the two sets of parents of the two boys who begin a meeting of cordiality and reconciliation in the home of the injured boy.  Penelope Longstreet (Jodie Foster) offers homemade cake with apples and pears while her apparently doting husband Michael Longstreet (John C. Reilly) helps serve the parents of the stick-swinging boy Nancy Cowan (Kate Winslet) and Alan Cowan (Christoph Waltz).

Now you got it; the parents are Jodie “Silence of the Lambs” Foster, John C. “Chicago” Reilly, Kate “Titanic” Winslet, and Christoph “Inglourious Basterds” Waltz and directed by Roman “I can’t come home” Polanski.  Therefore, this is a must-see movie.  The talent jumps off the screen.  The storyline is a bit tortured and the sheer entertainment factor is lower than one would want, but the acting is off-the-charts good.

I am still processing the characterizations developed by these four.  And I am smiling and pondering the reasoning and risks taken by each.  Polanski has a way of getting his actors to take chances; these four thespians must have trusted the mysterious genius of Polanski.

The afternoon get-together between the two couples began civilly, but escalated as each of them allowed the event to drag on far too long and allowed 18 year-old scotch to enter the mix.  This movie is a classic tale of human emotions and prejudices routinely hidden under a façade of caring.  Watching the spiraling emotions and passions of these four deteriorate into raw sentiments of blame and accusation is a thing of beauty.

Historically, great acting cannot carry a weak script but this is an exception.  It’s not a bad script, but it lacks believability because no one acts and reacts the way these decidedly dysfunctional parents did.  I loved the clever lines provided by Polanski and co-writer Yasmina Reza, but the twine did not bind for me.  It was a free-for-all of great actors.  And in this case, there is nothing wrong with savoring the craft of four outstanding artists.  Rock ‘n Roll. Grade 90.  Larry H.

“A 12-year-old boy searches for the one thing that will enable him to win the affection of the girl of his dreams. To find it he must discover the story of the Lorax, the grumpy yet charming creature who fights to protect his world.” That sentence was lifted from IMDb because I could not explain this movie on my own as I went to sleep at the half hour mark and walked out after one hour of this 94 minute cartoon. Er, I mean animation.

This 3D-CG movie, depending on your theatre is well done if you like this sort of thing; I do not. I only went to theatre #11 at AMC First Colony because you people pay me the big bucks to go to movies on Friday afternoon and there was not a lot of competition out there currently. And candidly, I keep trying and hoping that I’ll like these little-kid flicks and have a mature attitude. But alas, I’m a spoiled brat. Hey, wait a minute, that sounds like the crowd that was with me at AMC which was primarily made up moms with little kids sitting in their laps. And laughing and talking very loudly in that sweet, innocent childlike voice when they ask “…Mommy, why did that man cut down that tree?...what did he say?...why did he throw that bear up in the air?”

I’m so groggy and dazed I’m having great difficulty writing this piece so I’ll stumble along a little longer, but I need to go home and get some serious rack time.  Kudos to the voice-overs by Danny DeVito (The Lorax), Ed Helms (The Once-ler), Zac Efron (Ted) and Taylor Swift as Audrey. The movie is beautiful and the story is pro-environment, but I need a few bullets and bombs or babes and buffoons not the written page on the stage. Travel at your own risk and be sure to take a tyke. Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade: Not Graded (Don’t Care)   Larry H.

I first saw this movie about six weeks ago, but am re-watching it on opening day January 20^th.  Movie producers and directors take a big chance debuting their allegedly Oscar-worthy movies so late in the game.  Under the rules of the Academy, movies qualify for the year (2011) if they open by December 31^st in New York and Los Angeles; this movie qualifies for 2011 under that rule, but it opened nationwide on January 20, 2012.

Such a practice is risky in my opinion because most of the competitive movies have already played to bigger audiences and Academy members thus establishing a head start on the voting game.  And it is a huge PR game to compete for awards and they all claim victory even for the most insignificant accolade, but the big prize is an Academy Award. However, a Golden Globe, SAG,  Directors Guild, and even the Grand Prize of Best Picture as annually awarded by the great and powerful Houston Film Critics Society will do until the Oscars are awarded.  Just ask the producers of “The Descendants” and “The Artist.”

The strategy for “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” to open extremely late is an incredibly bad idea.  This movie is not good enough to make the cut and now it will be lost in the vast array of other memorable and worthy films.  My award of “Second Rate” is hereby presented to Director Stephen “Billy Elliot” Daldry in spite of the backdrop of 9/11 starring Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock.  Neither of them has much screen time.  The story is touchingly presented primarily from the perspective of an eleven year old boy who lost his father at the World Trade Center tragedy.

The movie is an insightful look into the pain and suffering resulting from the loss of a loved one.  Grief is hard.  But the boy was whiny and more of a twerp than a loveable and sympathetic little kid learning to grieve the death of his beloved father.  Daldry comes close to making this a film of empathy, but he misses the mark with characters who are not interesting and lack an invitation of understanding.   The story gets stuck in mediocrity early and never recovers.

The little boy is a character (Oskar Schell) from Jonathan Foer’s novel and is played by Thomas Horn who first gained fame by being a big winner on the TV show “Jeopardy.”  Who wouldn’t pick a “Jeopardy” winner to play this character?  I understand the lure, Mr. Daldry, but you were mistaken.   Bullock and Hanks are brilliant in their relatively small parts and Viola Davis and Max von Sydow are excellent in their supporting roles, too.  But I did not like this movie; that’s a shame.  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 76.  Larry H.

This movie is 102 minutes too long.  In the opening 30 minutes and initial character development, I thought Civil War veteran Captain John Carter who is whisked off to Mars was going to be the new Iron Man.  I love Iron Man.  I loathe John Carter.  That’s an over-reaction.  I don’t care about John Carter or the horse he rode in on. 

Speaking of horses, come to find out the “horses” on Mars are a cross between a bull and a rhinoceros.  That’s pretty cool.  The cinematography and costumes are well done, too, but the script is dreadful.  Disney should be ashamed of themselves for letting this appear on the street.

The big winners, ironically, will be Taylor “Friday Night Lights” Kitsch who played John Carter and Lynn Collins who played the skank; I mean the princess in distress who has to marry a bad guy when she really loves John Carter.   Oh, I’m sorry, did I just do a spoiler?  I don’t care; I’m not responsible for this sorry excuse of a movie.  I could tell you all about this movie and it wouldn’t matter.

However, I couldn’t tell you about the ending because I boogied with about 45 minutes to go.  I hung in there as long as possible until I became convinced that I was wasting my time and that there was no hope for John and Princess Dejah Thoris to win me over.  They are two beautiful humans and will undoubtedly land some choice roles as a result of the mass exposure from this big budget flop, but aren’t we all beautiful humans in God’s eyes?   

This movie is derived from the first of a 11-novel series by Edgar Rice Burroughs written over 100 years ago.  Way to go, Edgar!   Wild imagination for a Martian story set in 1881 with 12 foot guys with four arms that shoot rifles at space ships.  How do you mess that up?  Ask Disney; not Larry H.  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 69W.  Larry H.   Note: only 14 days until “The Hunger Games"

I’m writing these comments shortly after seeing this movie at AMC First Colony, and I’m very tired and need a nap due to boredom.  This movie stinks, the story sucks, the character development was nonexistent, and I didn’t like or care about any of the characters.  Other than that, it was a bang-up film.

The plot centers in present-day Cape Town, South Africa where a CIA safe house is located.  A young CIA agent named Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds) is tasked with safeguarding a  legendary, former CIA agent who has gone rogue.  That sounds like a decent storyline and with the big dog Denzel Washington playing Tobin Frost who has been off the grid for over nine years, this will be a big success at the box office.  My Friday afternoon crowd numbered more than 200!

There are a lot of clichés like “off the grid” and “we’ll take it from here” and “what’s your twenty?”.  Actually, I don’t know if anyone said “what’s your twenty” but this movie reminded me of “Smokey and the Bandit” which was better than “Stupid House.”  I’m sorry; I meant to type “Safe House,” but couldn’t.

I had high hopes for this film because I’m a huge fan of Denzel; I watched “Training Day” for the tenth time recently and he was deserving of his Oscar for his performance as the rogue L.A. Det. Alonzo Harris.  There’s that word “rogue” again.  Maybe Denzel excels at playing “rogue.”  Well, he’s batting fifty percent.   And Ryan Reynolds is not just another People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive; the boy can act.

Ok, I’m going to calm down and admit that Denzel and Ryan proved again that they are professionals and dutifully performed per the script; I don’t blame them.  So, who is to blame, Larry H.?  We must assign blame when we encounter a big budget mess.  Daniel Espinosa.  He was an up and coming 32 year old director when Denzel agreed to do this movie and I was pulling for Espinosa and he was part of the reason I went to this movie.  But making great movies is difficult Danny Boy and you need a little work.

The action was fast, but the camera angles were so tight and jerky that I had difficulty following the action at times though I appreciated the close-ups of the actors’ faces.  The editing was disjointed and goofy.  By the end of the movie, I hoped they all died.  This movie is an “oops.”  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 71.  Larry H.

Joss Whedon for President.  As director and co-writer of the long-awaited “The Avengers,” he’s pulled off a miracle.  The big money boys came to him and said:  “…look, Jossy, can we call you Jossy?”  “We need you to take the previous movies about Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, Thor, Black Widow, Hawkeye and a few others and make it into a combo movie that involves all the characters in a cohesive, understandable story so each of the superheroes is re-introduced and their characters achieve some balance in an all-out war to save the world.”   Can you do that Jossy?”

Joss replies, “…ok, but I need a huge pile of money in order to make the sets, special effects, and cinematography spectacular, an enormous talented crew and all the stars must cooperate and return with a good attitude.” “Not a problem, Jossy, just make sure that it’s a titanic blockbuster and we make so much money that we get into a fight dividing the booty.”  Deal.   

Before we get started, could you give us a taste of the dialogue?  Sure, how about this:  Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) of S.H.I.E.L.D. explains “…war has started and we are hopelessly outgunned.  Director Fury, I think it’s time…It’s called The Avenger’s Initiative…How desperate are you…you have made me very desperate…this is nothing we were ever trained for…we’re not a team, we’re a time bomb.”  And then Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) enlightens the group with “…guys, I’m gonna bring the party to you.” 

And that is how you make an epic movie and earn my vote for President of the United States of America!

Joss Whedon (I don’t call him Jossy) at age 47 is at the top of his game and everybody else’s game for that matter.  The movie is fun, whimsical, exciting, suspenseful, and worth seeing repeatedly, which I plan to do.  The action and information is overwhelming.  Especially in 3D IMAX. 

Chris Evans returns as Captain America, Mark Ruffalo as The Hulk, Chris Hemsworth as Thor, Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, and Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye.  My favorites were Ruffalo, Hemsworth, Johansson, Renner and Tim Hiddleston as Loki the bad guy.  Never really liked Captain America.

Jackson and Downey are two of my all-time favorites.  You might remember this quote from Larry H. in 2008:   “I believe Iron Man exists and is fighting evil at this very moment.  I love Iron Man.  I want to join Iron Man.  I want to be Iron Man.”   Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 91.  Larry H.

I went to see this slasher movie because two of my movie critic buds raved about it; you can’t trust these people that claim to be film critics.  I much prefer the term “moviegoer” because I actually have the mentality of popcorn and Mr. Pibb even though I actually drank a Sprite during this flick. I must admit that I was feeling frisky so I drank some of the hard stuff (Sprite) instead of my usual Mr. Pibb.  You gotta live on the wild side sometimes.  Please don’t tell my colleagues in the Houston Film Critics Society that I dissed them.

Speaking as a moviegoer, this movie sucks.  Here’s the good news:  outstanding acting and cinematography in a bloody, gory kind of way.  Impressive special effects  Zombies and monsters and arms crawling along the floor.  Oops, I did a spoiler.  Not really; this movie is so bizarre that I could tell you exactly what happened and you still wouldn’t get it because I’m not sure I got it. 

Five college kids (who look 30 something) drive to a cabin in the woods for a peaceful, fun time with friends: two skanks, two hunks and a stoner.  As soon as they unload the Winnebago the games begin.  Not your usual bad guys and fright scenes thanks to two of the most inventive writers in Hollywood.  Joss “Dollhouse” Whedon and Drew “Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Lost” Goddard.  Goddard also directed “Cabin” so keep that in mind that the same guy who wrote for Buffy and Lost is the brains behind this way-out-of-the-box film.  There are no boundaries.

My favorite character was the stoner played by Fran Kranz who played Topher Brink in the TV series “Dollhouse.”  Hence the Whedon connection.  And to show you that anything goes in this storyline, Richard “The Visitor” Jenkins and Bradley “The West Wing” Whitford have significant parts and they are wearing white shirts and ties.  The other four “college kids” are Kristen Connolly, Chris “Thor” Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, and Jesse Williams.  Their careers won’t suffer just because this moviegoer didn’t like this flick, but to give  you some inside information, I ask LaRhonda, the AMC ticket clerk and she said “…I hated it.”  So you choose:  two uppity film critics or LaRhonda.  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 71.  Larry H.  

I started a new office policy on Wednesday May 16^th:  work for about 45 minutes and then go to the movies.  I’m going to submit my firm for consideration by the National Organization of Troubled-Workers aka NOT as one of the Best Companies to Work for in 2012.  My firm is loving, kind, understanding, and fully supportive of the arts especially stupid movies. 

Mission accomplished because attendance at “The Dictator” is merely another contribution of ten bucks for the Sacha Baron Cohen Get Rich Scheme for Schmucks Who Goof Off On Wednesdays aka SBCGRSFSWGOOW.  If you are wondering if this movie is as  good as the cutesy trailers seen on TV recently, then you are about to be duped as those trailers are the entire highlight of the film.  Just watch the commercials for “The Dictator” and say to yourself “…hmmm, this looks like the same senseless, perverted crap Cohen has produced in “Borat” and “Bruno” and I’ll think I’ll pass on this one…”   

I admire Cohen’s creativity and ability to make a buck (see attached photo), but I don’t have to act like I admire his movies.  I almost laughed several times, but caught myself and was able to muffle my giggle.  Others in the audience politely laughed occasionally, but this film is not clever or funny.  It’s sad and not entertaining; other than that, it’s a bang-up piece of art. 

Director Larry Charles must take much of the blame, but his resume includes five years of writing some of the darkest and most bizarre episodes of “Seinfeld” so that gives him a lifetime pass.  So, do we also forgive him for directing Cohen in “Borat” and “Bruno?”.  I say NOT.   Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 69.  Larry H.        

Note:  Attached is a photo of Admiral General Aladeen aboard a yacht today (May 16^th) in  Cannes, caption below:

Admiral General Aladeen and supermodel Elisabetta Canalis aboard a luxury yacht at the Hotel du Cap during the 65th annual Cannes Film Festival May 16, 2012.  Photo credit:  Gareth Cattermole 

Note 2:  Larry H is considering going to Cannes in 2013 if we win the 2012 NOT award. 

Katniss Rules!  Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer “Winter Bone” Lawrence) is a 16 year old girl who lives in District 12 in what is left of a not-too-distant futuristic country that is the remains of North America.  The capitol of Panem is opulent and wealthy, and the rest of the country consists of 12 districts that are varying degrees of poverty and subservience brought about by drought, famine, fire and war.

And because of a previous rebellion by the districts, the capitol holds The Hunger Games annually to remind the districts that they should never rebel again and following the rules of the totalitarian government is the only way.  By random drawing, two children (one boy and one girl) ages 12-18 from each district must participate in a televised contest that requires the 24 children to come to the capitol to fight to the death until there is one “victor.”  All citizens are required to watch this televised brutal and intimidating show; the capitol loves the spectacle and the districts loathe it.  The residents of the capitol place bets on the possible winners.     

Katniss lives in coal mining District 12 and her 12-year old sister Primrose is chosen to be the girl from District 12, but Katniss who is the primary emotional caretaker of Prim volunteers to be the Tribute from District 12 thus taking the place of little Prim.   “We’ve never had a volunteer from District 12 before” decries Effie Trinket (Elizabeth Banks).  The boy from District 12 is Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) who is the son of the local baker and believes that “…I have zero chance of winning.”   

Lawrence is perfect as Katniss and we Hunger Games devotees have been full of anticipation while waiting for this movie which is based on the first book of a trilogy written by Suzanne Collins who co-wrote the screenplay and also executive produced this film.  I’ve read all three of Collins’ books and loved them; especially the first one entitled “The Hunger Games.”   When Katniss stepped forward to volunteer to replace Prim, I wept.  

Collins creation of Panem and Katniss and the games was genius.  Happily, the movie closely follows the story as originally told by Collins, so if you like her books, you’ll like this movie.  Director Gary Ross does a magnificent job in bringing the action and emotional fabric of the downtrodden people that must endure the strong arm of Panem and President Snow (Donald Sutherland) to the screen.  The pompous and arrogant residents of the capitol have all of the pleasures of life while the districts struggle to live.

Our heroine is a natural hunter and has been illegally killing game with her bow since she was a young girl.  These hunting excursions were in an forbidden forest protected by a fence, but she and her friend Gale (Liam Hemsworth) spent many gratifying days outside the fence acquiring food to eat and trade.  Uh oh, if she spent time with the handsome Gale, then what develops with the son of the baker, Peeta, who is also 16 and must compete with her in The Hunger Games?  Let’s just call it The Twilight Syndrome.

In the arena of The Hunger Games, the primary weapons are knives, swords, spears, and a bow.  The games are designed to encourage these children to kill each other in a very up-close and personal way to increase the entertainment value.  About now you might be thinking that this is not the movie for you and I would understand your thinking.  But Collins and Ross present the story in a way that is compassionate, sad, and heroic without being repulsive.  Having said that, be warned that this movie is not for little kids and that’s why it has a PG-13 rating.

The supporting cast of Woody Harrelson as Haymich Abernathy, Stanley Tucci as Caesar Flickerman, and Lenny Kravitz as Cinna are brilliant.  I admit my prejudices in favor of this movie and would have started crying if it was a bust, but I gave a huge sigh of relief and thanks to Gary Ross and Suzanne Collins for not messing up a good thing.  It will make a gazillion dollars and hopefully we’ll be delighted with two sequels.  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 92.  Larry H.     

“The Iron Lady” is a little rusty.  It’s not Meryl Streep’s fault whose portrayal of the remarkable Margaret Thatcher was worthy of the Reagan-era British Prime Minister.  It’s almost trite to say that Streep is the best actress of her generation, but if it’s true it ain’t trite and certainly is not inaccurate.  Streep deserves a nomination for her performance because her capture of the Iron Lady is fabulous.  Will she win the Oscar?  Probably not because the movie is not very good.

Let’s be fair; the movie is bad and not interesting.  The costumes are fantastic and the editing is skilled but the script and the story is so basic and biographical that the show was boring.  Please don’t bore me.  I didn’t walk out of the theatre because I watched a screener (DVD) at my office which is not the ideal setting (no popcorn) but during the “nomination season” one must resort to screeners in order to keep up with the huge influx of movies provided by studios anxious to sell their movies to the various academies and critics.

How good was Streep?  Fantastic, incredible, astonishing, but I need some entertainment.  I know that Meryl Streep is the Queen of the Screen, but Larry H. is in it for himself and demands some joy and escape.  That does not include a methodical description of a historically significant twentieth century figure that should have been shown to college history students.

I watch movies for fun and to be entertained, not to receive a lecture even though I admit that the education process in a well-done movie can be provocative and stimulating and often entertaining.  Who is to blame?  That’s easy; Phyllida “Mama Mia” Lloyd who as director must have had an easy time in convincing Mrs. Streep to play Thatcher but forgot the audience.  Lloyd was born in 1957 in Bristol, England, so she grew up watching the Iron Lady become one of the most notable and powerful women in the history of the world.

That would be an overwhelming influence on the young, impressionable Phyllida.  She probably has been dreaming of the time that she could convince her buddy Meryl Streep to play her hero Margaret Thatcher.  I’m just speculating. but the texture and themes of the movie appeared to be the result of hero-worship rather than art and entertainment.  I repeat:  it is not Streep’s fault but somebody owes me 105 minutes of my life.  Just kidding; I like watching bad movies – it gives me something to write about and I love to whine.  Rock ‘n Roll.

It was a beautiful sunny Saturday morning yet I was feeling blue; you know the story – life was not as cool as I thought it should be, so instead of turning to food or alcohol, I go to the movies.  Escape is good.  Love is good.  Popcorn is good.  Life is better.

And that, my friends, makes me “The Lucky One” because this flick is all about love and feel-good stuff.  The “Syrupy Factor” alone was at least a 10 on a scale of 10 and I didn’t mind that I could smell the saccharinity flowing from the screen.  The honeyed story is formulaic: a Marine serves three tours of duty in Iraq and thinks a photo of an unidentified beautiful young girl that he finds on the battlefield is his good luck charm.

When our Marine gets home alive, he travels from Colorado to Southern Louisiana to find his good luck charm.  How did Logan make the trip from Colorado?   He walked.  With his well-trained German Shepherd.  And when he finds the tall, slender, blonde Louisiana girl with a beautiful smile and a cotton-headed eight year old son, he can’t muster the courage to tell her the reason for showing up on her door step so he applies for a job at the family’s kennel cleaning dog poop and training dogs.  I’m not making this stuff up; that was done by screenwriter Will Fetters who must have had to take insulin shots during the writing process.

And by the way, the Marine looked just like cute, little Zac “High School Musical” Efron who had a perpetual 5-7 day beard; it was amazing.  And the Louisiana lass was played by Taylor Schilling who reminded me of Jenny (Robin Wright) from “Forest Gump.”   They were so dreamy together that I thought Director Scott Hicks was teasing us by making us invest in several scenes of character development before their first kiss.   It was a love fest.

Now here is the really amazing part; I bought into the entire spiel and enjoyed the whole movie.  Heck, I actually liked the antagonist even though he spit in Zac Efron’s face reminiscent of Bob Ewell spitting in Atticus’ face which I resented, but I granted them limited poetic license.  The editing and script were balanced and did not step over the hokey line; okay, occasionally things got so sugary that I thought the audience might go into a group diabetic shock but we somehow survived.  Well done, Director Hicks.

Zac Efron is the huge winner.  He made those dreamy eyes and P90X body glide along as though he was an authentic actor and not just a singer for a made-for-TV movie.  Zac has arrived and will compete for his generation’s Cary Grant Award.  Rock ‘n Roll.

Grade 87.  Larry H.